Will I regret leaving my partner

[beenaa]

I don't even know where to start. I got with my partner when I was very vulnerable and friends told me they had suspicions he had a gf he told me absolutely not and they are just sorting house out etc. He was at mine one day about 6 months in and a text came on his phone which turned out to be his gf. I found her on fb and messaged her and told her everything. She told me they had split up recently as she had enough of him but he found out she had a bf and wouldn't leave her alone. I kicked him out of my life and met someone else at a party he was lovely and wasn't a liar in the slightest. My partner heard about this and came crawling back I believed all his shite and ended up back together. He since then has accused me of cheating on him. Months went passed and my mental health was deteriorating he told me to go to the drs and get anti depressants as my own guilt from cheating on him was causing this One day I had enough and searched his laptop. I found emails from his ex as suspected him calling her his best friend etc and he needs her. Turns out she asked him for money and he gave her £1,000 she told me this. She also told me prior to this she had asked for help with her car and they had facetimed. She didn't know I was back with him. She seems nice and normal. I Walked out and left him. A few days later I find out I'm bloody pregnant I agreed to try again for the baby. My pregnancy was horrific I was so miserable I couldn't digest anything I didn't have time to get over what he did, ive got so much built up anger. I was 7 months pregnant and him and his dad were partying at 3am I heard him say to his dad she thinks the worlds against her I went downstairs and had it out with him infront of his dad. His dad told him to teach me a lesson and make me carry the baby furniture upstairs and build it myself. My partner left the house claiming he was going to kill himself (nothing unusual) his dad told me if anything happens to him it's on your head and he will make my life hell. Anyway we're 5 months post baby and I'm miserable I'm so miserable he tells me he will regret leaving him and I don't know what I've got here. His ex relied on him financially and I don't. I'm thankfully financially stable in my own right. He knows I can afford to leave him and I think his only control is by knocking my confidence? I don't know. He also wants to party and drink with his pals every Friday night. I had this out with him and he told me to stop gurning it's normal his friends partners make them sandwiches when they get in pissed all he gets is abuse. I feel like I've hit rock bottom my head is in agony every day with worry and stress. Also he's sex obsessed and if he doesn't get sex he has mood swings I'm breastfeeding and pretty bloody exhausted I want my own time and space!!

I don’t think you’ll regret it. Does he have any redeeming features? Does he help with baby or with housework?

Why would you regret it? You and your baby need some stability and calm in your life, not this car crash of a bf.

“Why would you regret it? You and your baby need some stability and calm in your life, not this car crash of a bf.”

This with bells on.

The only thing you will regret is the time you've wasted with this loser.

So he didn't kill himself then.

No redeeming features he has his own business but materialistic things don't impress me in the slightest. (Another reason he sees his Friday nights as acceptable because he works so hard) He grew up with alcoholic parents and they both tried to kill themselves. His mum appears in the house pissed at 8am his dad could barley stand in the house at 11am one day, i was actually shaking my head thinking what a train wreck the lot of you are! My family are very successful and grounded none of this carry on. I find it all a bit embarrassing that my child is apart of this, my family have nothing to do with his I think they are just appalled by the whole thing! Some days he can be so nice and thinks I'm his world but as soon as there's a sniff off a potential party I'm a cow. I think the fact I'm writing this says it all to me. Sort of felt like I needed to explode and write it all down to see it for myself, I decided last week I would keep a diary for a year of bad days and good days then decide so I'm not splitting my child's family up irrationally.

I think you will regret wasting your time on him more than you ever would leaving.

Easier said than done though and it is so difficult to take a step to do something that you know will cause you unbearable pain. But then what's the alternative. One day in 5, 10, 15 or even 20 years time it will hit you how much of your life has been ruined by this man. You will have lived miserably for years. You won't get that time back. The longer it goes on the bigger hill to fall down. More importantly all that chipping away he does at you, it will keep wearing you down. You will still recognise he isn't right for you but you will no nothing else other than putting up with it. It will become normal.

You will keep telling yourself I will leave after this or when the child is this age. You will get to that point and there will be something else.

There is always a reason not to act. Rather than starting with thinking what you want from your future start by thinking thinking what you absolutely don't want.. don't let yourself down. That is something you will regret.

Good luck.

@Mynextname

I think you will regret wasting your time on him more than you ever would leaving.

Easier said than done though and it is so difficult to take a step to do something that you know will cause you unbearable pain. But then what's the alternative. One day in 5, 10, 15 or even 20 years time it will hit you how much of your life has been ruined by this man. You will have lived miserably for years. You won't get that time back. The longer it goes on the bigger hill to fall down. More importantly all that chipping away he does at you, it will keep wearing you down. You will still recognise he isn't right for you but you will no nothing else other than putting up with it. It will become normal.

You will keep telling yourself I will leave after this or when the child is this age. You will get to that point and there will be something else.

There is always a reason not to act. Rather than starting with thinking what you want from your future start by thinking thinking what you absolutely don't want.. don't let yourself down. That is something you will regret.

Good luck.

Gosh you hit the nail on the head there @Mynextname the latest was my granny died suddenly last week and he chose to spend his Friday night drinking at work instead of coming home to support me this was 2 days after she had passed. Your right there's always something else. I've reached the point where I'm ready to leave now. It's just disappointment after disappointment, Thank you xx

I'm sorry to hear that.. I really am. There is nothing quite like the person you are committing your whole life to continuously letting you down and not being there for you when you need it the most. It hurts.

Good luck, whether you manage to go through with it or not. I hope you find some peace.