Am I being a dick please

[catherineofarrogance80]

So I'm in a long distance relationship
We haven't seen each other for a while due to lockdown restrictions but we message most days. I just have this niggle that I'm viewed as convenience for him.
Something that annoyed me a couple of times is this. We will be texting away then there will be nothing. I will then message about a couple of hours later and get 'oh I was watching telly' which is obviously fine but he will initiate conversation then seem to bugger off then come back when nothing else for him to do
Am I just reading too much into it or would you see this too?

I'm not seeing a problem here. People have lives outside of texting 24/7. If he stops texting in a conversation again I would just wait for him to text back when he is ready. Breaks in texting are natural and normal. By texting him to remind him he hasn't texted back you are being a bit needy.

I think you sound very intense and needy if you are that bothered he hasn’t replied within 2 hours. Not healthy.

How often do you have a chat via phone or video? I find texting tends to be more open ended with no real beginning, middle and end to a conversation. More just ongoing chatter that happens throughout the day or over days.

Why don’t you suggest you have time to sit down and chat via voice or video? Everyone needs downtime and a text convo that goes on and on all day each day is pretty draining, plus it often doesn’t give great connection because by its nature it’s disjointed unless you are literally both glued to your phone texting all day.

Sorry but I'd find it really suffocating if someone wanted me to text them 24/7 when I wanted to watch something on TV.

It's fair enough I was kind of just seeing it as a sign of well I will message when I'm bored

Stop texting and see how he responds.

I broke off a relationship because of this very reason. He was of the same opinion as you, that I should be available to message 24 hours a day. I couldn't even watch a program on telly without getting grief for it.

I would text a LDR through a TV show and expect the same but I think it depends on the conversation.

Like if you were in a deep conversation with really quick replies and suddenly it just stops for 2 hours to watch a tv show, I would find this kind of rude honestly.

Maybe you can phrase it nicely as these are definitely difficult and unusual times and if you need a little more support from lack of face to face time I don't think thats too much to ask

I think people are getting the wrong end of the stick
I'm not wanting constant texting or wanting him to devote all his waking hours to me. It's the fact we will be in the middle of a discussion then he will go.
There have been times ive been busy for several hours but will say I won't be around for a bit because x y z and he will message several times hi what you up to
I just feel as though he only messages when it suits him