Feeling like a horrible person.. am I a terrible girlfriend?

[mynameiswah]

On valentines weekend my DP came over and made a fuss with a present, a joke present, and a card. He also fixed my door without me asking which was really sweet of him. He also got me some stuff to help with my migraines because I've had bad migraines on and off for several days now - I think I'd had it for about six days at that point.

All sounds lovely right? But the downside is that he... stank. He had BO and bad breath and I tried hard to ignore it but I couldn't. This is actually recurring issue with him and I've told him in the past that he needs to be more aware of these things (hygiene). He does have health issues and I know it's a lot for him to keep up with. I told him the next day that he should go to a doc to sort out his breath, and I sniffed his shirt which reeked. He'd had a shower before he came over but then he put on an unwashed shirt that stank of BO! Why wouldn't you put on a clean shirt after you've had a shower? I was already stressed, tired and exhausted from a bad migraine week and the bad smells just put me in a bad mood.

Was I really horrible to say it then, after everything he did? I've really hurt his feelings and offended him and now he's not talking to me. I've apologised to him but he says I have a razorblade tongue, something I'm trying to work on. I feel rotten. :(

No one can say op. How did you phrase it?

Six years and he broke up by text?

Six years and broken up with by text is shocking. You're well rid.

What a man-child! He can't handle the reaction to his own lack of basic hygiene and dumped you by text after 6 years...he needs to grow up.

He went on and on and on (by text) about how I made him feel and so I replied and said to him 'if you want to break up just fucking say so'. So he said 'OK. I'm saying so'.

Then he tried to call and said he had more to add! And i just said I didn't want to talk so I put the phone down. I was in shock (still am) and couldn't stop crying.

I've got so many things I want to say to him too but I can't collect my thoughts. His whole attitude is geared towards how I made him feel. What I said (re his hygiene) has been completely missed. Now I feel like I can't say anything to him from my side because he's so UBER sensitive. It's almost no point trying to explain things. He said we didn't have sex enough but honestly if he took better care of his hygiene I would feel more passionate! This has been an issue on and off for years

He sounds like a jerk. A rank jerk.
A self absorbed rank jerk.

You are well rid.

I'm guessing you were perfectly tactful about pulling him up on his hygiene and he is just being a big baby about it.

You shouldn't have to have said anything in the first place. Let alone more than once.

He has a bloody cheek to bring up lack of sex.

I'd block him and move on with my life.
Maybe sniff the next guy a few times before committing lol xD

I had the bad breath thing with DH. I waited a while but in the end I had to say something (I have sensory issues and it was awful). Think I said something like I have something really awkward to say, but no-one else will say it and you need to know. Your breath smells really horrible. He was (understandably) upset but he slacks a bit in the dental department, he upped his game and it improved. If your BF can’t handle the truth about smelling, he will always have this problem! Also dumped by text after 6 years? You’re well rid!

You can get therapy if you feel you need it. I can be quite blunt and therapy helped me to find more effective ways of communicating so I get my point across without upsetting people as much! You can go through your GP as a first resort.

Honestly OP, onwards and upwards.

He sounds like a twat. If I have morning breath, DP tells me outright. If he has stinky pits, it's because he forgot deodorant after his shower and I tell him. Neither of us get upset by these things because they are true at that time and we can easily fix them. Plus they aren't the norm, we don't normally stink as a rule.

I cannot stand snowflakes who cannot be told anything that may hurt their delicate feelings when they are true and things that should be sorted. BO and bad breath is rank to everyone around anyone who stinks of them. You will be better off without him in the long run OP. Who could blame you for not wanting sex as much with someone who smelled bad and refused to do anything about it. Sounds like he can dish out criticism but cannot take any himself.

To be honest if he has regular bad breath and bad bo I think his downstairs wasn't too fresh either I would dump him! My ex was like this and was unclean, everything smelt, cheesy feet, breath and downstairs.I don't know why I put up with it but he was my first boyfriend and I was only 16 at the time but I wouldn't have put up with it as an adult. You've had an lucky escape!

OP,
He's done you a favour.

He stinks.
End of.
He hasn't taken it on board.
That is the sort of thing that should only need to be said once.

He's filthy in his personal habits.

There is no avoiding that, him, or the smell.

Why you have stayed with a dirty person for 6 years is the question.

Instead of dealing with the issue so it never came up again, he has just carried on.

Now he is abusing you for asking that he not smell.

Leave him go.
You have wasted enough years on him.