How many people are you still speaking to now?

[DarkAtNight]

I don't mean falling out with people just that lockdown has created distances between people now, I think.

I'm still in a bubble with my ex boyfriend. We still spend weekends together and occasionally go for a walk midweek.

I have one friend I speak with every day and saw twice when restrictions were lifted briefly last year.

I have a small handful of friends (maybe 3 or 4) and one of us will check in every few weeks. I met up with all of them once or twice when restrictions were lifted briefly last year but I can't help but wonder what the impact of an almost year long lockdown will have on friendships going forward.

I'm a single parent but circumstances mean I can't bubble with anyone else I'd like too (they have other bubbles: elderly parents etc).
I have three friends I see once each a week for a walk outside and that's pretty much it, other than the occasional text or so.

I've got two real friends, One I speak to and text regularly and this hasn't changed. If anything it has been more regular during these uncertain times. I also have a friend who lives in a different town (who I used to work with) who I catch up with periodically by phone. That has stayed the same.

In normal circumstances though I'd be meeting my local friend for coffee too.

I was already extremely isolated. I’ve not socialised with a friend in years anyway. All I do is work and look after the kids. All my friends disappeared when my mum passed away.

The friend i speak to daily is a woman I've known for a couple of years but we've become a lot closer since about November.

I just feels lot of my longer standing friendships have fallen by the wayside.

I've found similar with friends with older relatives. I don't have any parents or extended family. I have a sibling and children but one has left home and I've seen my sibling once since last March!

Everyone just feels like they're becoming very distant I think!

I was already extremely isolated. I’ve not socialised with a friend in years anyway. All I do is work and look after the kids. All my friends disappeared when my mum passed away.

I'm sorry to hear that.

I think it's made it harder for people who were already isolated.

I know my ex boyfriend has said that he has friends of 20+ years standing and even they are finding it difficult when they do speak because no one has done anything and there's nothing to talk about!

I am in touch with a lot of people, in a text every few weeks kind of way, but there's only really one person outside my household I'm having regular real conversations with.

I run though, which has been a godsend because I can legitimately meet up with one other person from my running club for a run, which I'm doing a couple of times a week.

Apart from immediate family . I have one friend that messages me every couple of days. I have one that messages me weekly. I have one that rings every 2 weeks. I have one that checks in via letter from Italy and the odd What's app. I made another group of friends via WhatsApp and we check in daily. Actually writing that down doesn't sound too bad yet I've still felt lonely during lockdown!

I've actually increased my circle of close friends by one and see another friend much more often than I did before,as I'm much better at hanging out with one person than in a group.

Conversely I've had to pull back from a group of friends who I love spending time with in real life but just couldn't cope with the relentlessly cheery FB calls - although I see most of them singly for walks anyway.

I think walking is good because it encourages random conversations rather than talking about what's going on at the minute- Nothing, how we're feeling- empty, and how our teenage DCs are doing - not sure not seen him except at dinner time for weeks.

I've become much more isolated than I already was.

I still message with my DC on a regular basis.
I can't recall the last time I left the house.

I speak to my best friend regularly, my good school friend as our children are best friends and very similar, my mum and a handful of other friends ad hoc.

I'm the same- I didn't have heaps of friendships but they have mainly all fallen by the wayside now. It's so difficult when one is working full time and home schooling as a single parent. I don't want to hear other people moan. And I don't want to just moan at someone else.
It's like I don't want the responsibility of the emotional
Involvement as I don't have any space left!

Everyone I would normally speak to, through Zoom, WhatsApp, phone or text, plus face to face with DH and neighbours.

I have lots of friends, but still feel isolated!
I am not sure why.
I think I am missing the day to day contact and smiles from shopkeepers and people I meet regularly not just hugs from my friends.

I feel like an island - surrounded by other islands (my friends and neighbours) like the Maldives, all close by but could be a million miles away in terms of connection.

The first lockdown was easier because the weather was nicer and we would meet up for walks, picnics and chats in the garden. It is now far to wet and cold or icy to go out for long, or often. We are all tired of trudging around on a walk, and it is no fun to 'walk' many of us actively dread it.
Zoom makes me feel worse, like they are even further away so I have stopped that. Only tried it once and hated it.

Out of my friends some have dropped off the radar altogether, just too busy and stressed to talk with home school and wfh full time. Mostly we drop each other texts and check in, or photos on whatsapp. Funny stories etc but these are drying up fast, and now look out of place as the grim reality of winter lockdown has worn on. Many used to text a few times a week, now are a few times a month as there is nothing new to say. We loosely stay in touch, and occasionally do walks. I don't enjoy the walks at all, and do it only to see them. The landscape depresses me. The mud depresses me. I am happier with texts.

I am hoping that we will all come together in the spring and summer, and will revert back to normal. I am afraid some friendships may never recover, because they were not cared for/tended to and kept up during the lockdown. I wonder if some friends will feel the pandemic was a good stress test for a friendship - and if they didn't hear from some people that is very telling to them, and may damage the friendship irreparably.

Send out messages of love and support, even if they are not replied to, give everyone the benefit of the doubt for now. So many are struggling with their MH.
I do plan to drop one or two friends because I have seen (through this) how selfish and self involved they are. I don't actually like them as people anymore I am sorry to say. But with everyone else, I intend to make more of an effort this summer not less, and I hope it will be the summer of love and real hugs we have been promised.

I don’t see anyone other than people at work.
Me and DH both need to see our DP’s and one child works, so that’s far too much necessary mixing I think.

surly Yes that is definitely it. I don't think any of us have enough emotional reserves left to support anyone else, we are too tired, so we have mostly switched to survival mode and we are just getting on with it. No one even bothers asking now how are you, it is a pointless question these days.

I'm pretty solitary anyway but only two friends have persevered in keeping in touch with me so I've concentrated the little energy I have for socialising on them.

By socialising I mean keeping in touch...not necessarily meeting up (because only one friend lives close enough for us to walk together without needing to drive which is specifically against the rules in Wales)