Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

What do I do about my bf

27 replies

Claire387dhheeh · 15/02/2021 20:21

Hi everyone. I’m new to this so bare with. I could do with some help tho i am in a newish relationship of 4 months and don’t see my partner that often due to work/life etc however the last few weeks it’s become an issue for me and it always seems to be him who can’t make it wether it’s last min or not. He said he would sort it so I gave him the benefit of the doubt but that was a couple weeks ago. We made plans for valentines yesterday nothing much just dinner and to see each other however he decided to go to his friends before hand which is fine I have no issue with him seeing friends however he then text me to say he had had too much to drink and couldn’t drive and would catch up with me in the week. Obviously I was not impressed at all. But what I’m wondering is do I give him another chance or do I just cut all ties? Xx

OP posts:
devildeepbluesea · 15/02/2021 20:22

Bin him. You're way down his list of priorities.

stealthninjamum · 15/02/2021 20:26

I agree with pp you should be a higher priority. At that stage you should be at the stage where you can’t get enough of each other. I’d understand him cancelling for a legitimate reason like sick child, injury but because he saw friends first is just crap. I would send a text and end it.

Dery · 15/02/2021 20:26

What @devildeepbluesea said. You’re not a priority. A man who’s truly interested would be trying to see you as often as possible and certainly would not put drinks with friends ahead of seeing you. Finish this and free yourself up for a man who makes time for you.

OutingMyself · 15/02/2021 20:27

Yeah, at four months you're already right at the bottom of his priorties.

Dery · 15/02/2021 20:30

When my mother, my sister and I all found ourselves single and dating in the late 1990s we quickly learnt not to make excuses for inattentive men. It always means either (i) they are just not that into you; or (ii) they're not available to date you. Usually the former. Never make excuses for inattentive men and never accept excuses either.

Wnikat · 15/02/2021 20:31

He’s not that into you. Throw him back.

Eddielzzard · 15/02/2021 20:33

Hold onto your dignity and move on. I wouldn't even tell him, only if he texts you.

MozzarellaMonster · 15/02/2021 20:34

Bin him, you gave him another chance and he's taken about 2 seconds to not bother again.

Jhusbusyman · 15/02/2021 20:37

@Dery

When my mother, my sister and I all found ourselves single and dating in the late 1990s we quickly learnt not to make excuses for inattentive men. It always means either (i) they are just not that into you; or (ii) they're not available to date you. Usually the former. Never make excuses for inattentive men and never accept excuses either.
THIS!

I have encountered all sorts of crap all over the years. I feel for you... The key is, if something makes you feel annoyed, don't ignore that.

Now with my DP. Calls me all the time, wants to spend his free time with me, weekends with me, holidays with me - I never have to ask. He has two DC too so could easily make excuses not to if he were that type of man.

A good partner just does these things voluntarily. I never had to ask.

Good luck OP and remember it's not you, it's him!

Cpl1586407 · 15/02/2021 20:41

You're calling him your partner and he can't even be bothered to keep plans with you on valentine's Day!

Time to throw this one back I think

scryingeyes · 15/02/2021 20:42

No lockdown where you live then?

singlemum81 · 15/02/2021 20:43

What is with all the troll posts?

Cpl1586407 · 15/02/2021 20:44

@scryingeyes

No lockdown where you live then?
This may come as a surprise, but not everyone lives in the UK
Peace43 · 15/02/2021 20:46

He ditched you on a pre-arranged Valentines date... not a good sign. You need to throw this fish back...

TillyTopper · 15/02/2021 20:52

Sorry but you are not at the top of his priority list - bin him and find someone who deserves you!

ThreeTwoOneBlastOff · 15/02/2021 20:54

He’s not that into you.

Silenceisgolden20 · 15/02/2021 21:03

4 months in and he should be desperate to spend valentine's with you

sunnyzweibrucken · 15/02/2021 21:27

he passed up V-day with you to spend it with his friends and using an excuse of drinking too much = he's not that into you. sorry.

Summerhillsquare · 15/02/2021 21:30

@Dery

When my mother, my sister and I all found ourselves single and dating in the late 1990s we quickly learnt not to make excuses for inattentive men. It always means either (i) they are just not that into you; or (ii) they're not available to date you. Usually the former. Never make excuses for inattentive men and never accept excuses either.
That's a movie plot right there @dery!
cranberrypie · 15/02/2021 21:35

That's really rubbish he can't stick to your plans and being Valentine's evening.
At 4 months I think I'd dump him

ThisTooShallPassOneDay · 15/02/2021 23:10

Yep, I would call it a day. I think it shows he has really bad manners and better to realise that now than further down the line!

VodselForDinner · 15/02/2021 23:19

“Partner”? Seriously? You have no ties to this man. You’ve been together for approximately 18 weeks.

Do you think that when he was drinking with his friends yesterday, he was telling them all about his girlfriend, let alone his partner?

Get rid.

Dery · 15/02/2021 23:23

@Summerhillsquare - a farce 😀!

ThisTooShallPassOneDay · 16/02/2021 15:07

How do you feel OP? x

Original poster
Claire387dhheeh · 16/02/2021 21:02

Thanks

OP posts: