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Relationships

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How do you know if you have feelings for your best friend?

1 reply

WelcomeBackAmelia · 15/02/2021 15:28

I have been knowing my best friend for nearly 5 years. We met through work in a different country, then we both moved to our current country with that employer a couple of years ago. I have since left the company for another job. He is 38, never married/ no DC, I am 32, never married/ no DC. Both expats in the country we live in (from different European countries).

We have always been good work mates, and then since March 2020 our friendship has got closer and closer as we have relied on each other a lot to get through the last year. We both had traumatic break ups around a year ago so we have been supporting each other through that. Lots of tears and late night chats/ walks, especially last Spring. He is very reserved so I know I am one of the very few people he opens up with.

We now our really really close. We speak every single day by text/ phone, we are each other's "go-to person" if anything happens, we share the same hobbies and circle of friends. We have gone on loads of day trips and weekends away during the summer, and now we go skiing every weekend (sometimes alone, sometimes with other friends too). We are also very similar in terms of values and outlook in life, although our personalities are different. I am more emotional and impulsive, he is very analytical and reflective.

He has been seeing a woman for the last 4 months but the relationship is very volatile and I don't think he is that into her. He has tried to break it off a couple of times, but she breaks down in tears and he feels guilty so he agrees to give her another chance.

However, recently I have been starting to question the nature of our friendship. He is the most amazing person I know, I would trust him with my life and I have so much admiration and respect for him. He is the person who always looks out for me, is always there for me, listens to my problems, cheers me up, jokes around. We tell each other every little silly detail of our days. We have such a special bond and I am just not sure if this might be more than just friendship.

I don't trust myself nor my feelings right now, as with Covid and lockdown I think we are all a bit all over the place emotionally. I would never dream of acting on these thoughts for the moment, as I am aware of how much I could throw away if I was to rush into bringing this up. I also wouldn't want to confuse him until he decides what to do with the woman he is seeing.

Do you think sometimes great friendships can evolve into something more? Or is it best to leave things alone? How do you know if you have feelings for your best friend or you just love them immensely as a friend?

OP posts:
Jaypreen · 15/02/2021 15:39

Do you think sometimes great friendships can evolve into something more? Yes.

is it best to leave things alone? Yes, sometimes.

How do you know if you have feelings for your best friend or you just love them immensely as a friend? You start wanting them physically.

Forgive me for putting this bluntly, but what you're asking is: I'm really into this bloke, but he has a girlfriend. Do I shag him -- WWYD?

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