Couples Counselling following affair - advice/handhold please

[littlemissminor]

Prepared to get flamed for this;

I have recently been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, following a period of extreme mania/psychosis. During the episode I had a short lived affair. DP is aware.

I have obviously now been diagnosed, and am receiving treatment/therapy for the Bipolar.

DP has decided that we are able to give our relationship another go, but we are due to start couples counselling tonight. I am petrified. I have no idea why, but the thought of it is making me feel ill.

Does anyone have any positive stories or advice please?

bumping just in case

Can you express why you are petrified? What are your thoughts about therapy and what are you frightened of.

I'm not even sure, it's just that pit of your stomach nervous feeling I guess.

DP seems convinced that the councillor will try and split us up or tell him to leave me so I'm scared of that too I think!

A therapist will not do any of those things. Its normal to be nervous in a new situation. Think of a therapist as a supporter for both of you, someone that will listen to both of you and help you find your way. They will not try to split you up only you two can come to that conclusion if thats what you both want. If you want to stay together then the therapist will help you find ways to support that. You will do all the work, the therapist will sit and listen and may help you with a pathway forward and you might get homework too!

If it helps our couples counsellor tried to get us to look at our relationship from the start and to remember what we liked in each other. This is where we started, the first session is more a getting to know you session.

There may be hard work ahead getting to understand and appreciate why things happened but that is unlikely to be today.

Good luck

Thank you both so much - I think we are both just desperate to make it work, so anything will be worth it if we can do that!

Echoing what @toooldtocare says about the first session. We were asked about how we met and what we liked about each other. For the counsellor, the fact that you both choose to engage in counselling by booking and showing up is a big part of getting through whatever issues bring you to counselling. I imagine you're anxious about being made to discuss your own behaviour, which you must have complicated feelings about. I can't imagine you'll get too much into any of that tonight. Sounds like your DP wants to get through this with you, so you don't have anything to worry about. Nothing you will say will shock the counsellor!

Thanks @FoggyDay58, I think the anxiety around discussing my actions is definitely a part of it