Should I get back with ex?

[Sunnysky321]

Hi, just want some opinions on this please.
I split with my boyfriend last December because we had been arguing alot then i found out he had been messaging a random woman for a few weeks.
I'm sorry to say I checked his whatsapp as I had a gut feeling, the messages were just general chit chat but nothing sexual.

When i confronted him he said I'd been pushing him away and he had no feelings for this woman, i contacted the woman and she was horrified and thought he was single, it started when he randomly messaged her on facebook after she had left a comment on his friends page fb page.

I was with him over 4 years but we never lived together, I've got 3 kids from previous relationship.
I still deeply love him and ever since he has been trying to get back with me after I've gone no contact. Sorry if this is long.

No you shouldn't he's the same person don't idolise him

Absolutely not.

He cheated and then blamed you for it! He is a wanker. And op, you dont love him, you love who he pretended to be. That person was not real.

He is a con artist. And he'll ruin your life. You'll be miserable and on edge and insecure forever if you take him back. And your kids will suffer too.

Think of it this way op, what has he done to EARN forgiveness? Did he appologise to you (heartfelt)? And the girl? Did he accept responsibility? Did he arrange himself counciling and attend? Did he agree to give you full access to all of his devices? Anything?

I'm betting not. Fuck that asshole.

I'm sorry OP, he won't change. He is blaming you for his infidelity, so clearly isn't taking any responsibility for his actions. He will cheat again, guaranteed. Pleased don't take him back. Move on and show your children how relationships should be with a new, respectful partner.

Thanks, thats's what i wanted to hear. He kept saying sorry but not listening to any questions I had about it.
He has been blocked since December but was emailing and leaving voicemails but I never responded.
I'm alot happier without having to wonder what he is up to and like you said my children will thank me for it.

If you get a chance and have netflix, theres an episode by the 'comedian' Daniel Sloss. Think it's the 2nd episode of the two. Theres some really good advice. Think it's called jigsaw.

Basically about how we shouldnt put the wrong people into our life jigsaw.

Thanks I'll have a look

Warning, it starts off pretty dark lol. But apparently its been splitting couples (who arent suited for eachother) up around the world.

Don't get back. I left my boyfriend of 4 years back in November for similar reasons, I asked for time and space and he never listened, he pestered and pestered and proposed even, i took him back and we are tagging along but really I am not happy, I can never trust him again (even if on a surface we are happy) and have been frantically looking for my escape for good.

Ime those that cheat like this, and show no remorse but in fact blame the other party are dangerous characters.

My ex is very similar and has blamed me for his behaviour in the past which is ludicrous but at one point I believed him.

I see him now on a non-exclusive basis and watch him playing his women, I used to be one of them. He just likes the constant attention and the ego boost, he has no real intentions of being with any of them, he’s just bought a $1m house in another Country but they aren’t aware of any of this.

One of his exes who’s constantly harassing him for attention accused him of rape and assault and social services had to get involved, and will involved again if she’s not careful but that typify the power this man has over women. The manipulation, future faking and charm. And in the background he had another life and is laughing at each and every one of them, sharing their messages with me.

It’s for that reason I won’t take him back, he will never change. It’s better being on this side OP.

No. I’m a big believer that if you break up with someone you should never go back, because there’s always a reason you broke up in the first place. Whatever you were arguing a lot about before December you will argue about again.

I've now broken the cycle of breaking up off and on so I'm definately not going back.
I could never really trust him so should of ended it a long time ago but he convinced me it was all in my head and i was being controlling whenever I questioned anything.