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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I overreacting ?

3 replies

lollpenn497 · 15/02/2021 13:32

Me and my my partner had a baby in 4 months ago, our relationship ha a always been good and we are close. We’ve had our moments and had infertility for several years before our baby so that made it hard at times. We were over the moon when she was born and our relationship seemed stronger than ever. Fast forward to now and my other half seems to be snapping at me. He’s on furlough and works a night delivery job on weekends so it’s not because he’s tired, my baby sleeps all through the night aswell. I’ve been diagnosed with a thyroid problem a few weeks ago and will admit I have mood swings sometimes and snap too. He seems to be nasty though. Last week my mom had our baby so we could Go to a stockist to get some things. We got some food when coming out and I accidentally spilled coke in his car, he chucked the food in the back of the car in a rage and started driving like a maniac. I got upset and told him to get out when we got home he apologised and said he was sorry. Today I was in a bad mood because of losing a bit of money I had and he laughed so I told him it was nasty o laugh at me, he flipped again and told me to shut the fuck up and said something was wrong with me. I went into our bedroom and cried and told him to get out he’s gone now and I’m getting sick of his anger and nastiness. Feels like telling him to fuckoff for good if I’m honest, am I over reacting?

OP posts:
BraxtonChic · 15/02/2021 13:41

It doesn't sound like you are overreacting.

I can't imagine spilling some thing in my DP's car and him start raging and driving off like a maniac.

We'd clean it up and go home as normal Confused.

Is this behaviour something that has only started since you had the baby?

lollpenn497 · 15/02/2021 13:45

No he’s had his moments in the past where he has lost his temper too, I don’t understand it because most the time he is a really nice person. I also don’t have the best temper but I control it more than I did before as I think it was caused by depression from infertility. It’s also making me feel really anxious and I’m starting to have weird thoughts like he is going to take my baby from me

OP posts:
NeverRTFT · 15/02/2021 13:52

He might be in poor mental health due to furlough and new baby. It's not that uncommon for new dads to completely lose their minds with anxiety and fear.
However that's a potential reason and NOT AN EXCUSE. If he's struggling he needs to acknowledge it and find a way to deal with it that doesn't involve belittling you.
You have been good and strong to enforce your boundaries in the face of his behaviour. Keep it up and don't doubt yourself. Only he can sort himself out.

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