Ex wife not moving on / COVID

[Redpanda1988]

I hope that someone might help. My partner and I are pregnant and he is currently in the process of selling his property jointly owned with ex (they pay a shared mortgage).
She left several years ago, taking his children with her rather unceremoniously. It is clear to me and everybody that knew him at the time that he lived with years of emotional and verbal abuse.

She has diagnosed and untreated mental health difficulties. He continues to suffer ongoing harassment and control from afar but has now realised that he needs to move on to have his own life, so has put some clear boundaries i.e. he doesn't let himself get dragged into petty arguments anymore. This hasn't been received well.
He has met all of his requirements (and more) as a father. He has also completely dealt with their divorce, belongings, house sale and all that that entails, alone.
Unfortunately, she has taken umbrage at the fact that I have stayed there for a few nights here and there, mostly to help him with things like painting walls and filling in holes in walls for the sale as well as packing stuff for our new home (which I own). To make clear, this hasn't been an issue (when allowed as per covid-19 guidance) with other friends at other stages of the last few years, including him having a non-paying friend here for a year to keep him company.
We are in a permitted isolation bubble together.
She is now in some kind of bitter rage, has decided she is going to turn up at the house at any time before completion of the sale. She has said that she has things to collect, but the house is entirely packed and there's nothing here. I'm now trapped self-isolating with covid symptoms and she continues to threaten to turn up unannounced. Now pushed, she has identified that she is coming to take back belongings that were agreed to be his in their divorce and in writing since.

Can she enter the house whilst someone is self-isolating there?
We have written agreement from her to specific objects. She has basically said she now wants them back to punish him. Can she turn up and take them from his packed belongings without permission?

For those saying “it’s her house too until sold” etc etc, bear in mind that she’s moved herself (and the DC) 6 hours drive away.

He’s done all the grunt work of getting it sold and, I’d bet money on it, been paying the mortgage and bills on his own for 4 years.

I think she should take a running jump if she thinks it’s now valid to stick her oar in and go after things that are no longer her property, particularly as it’s obvious it’s purely shit stirring on her part.

She’s had 4 years and a divorce over which to state her claim on anything. Fuck her. Report her to the Police if she comes anywhere near you. For theft and for the breach of Covid restrictions.

What do you mean new tenants? They are renting out the family home rather than selling it?

Just make sure you look out for yourself financially in all of this mess. Especially as you are now going to have a baby and you aren't married. Don't get swept away with things and make sure you go back to work when the baby is born.

I'm always somewhat suspicious when one half of a couple tells a new partner that their ex is a completely unreasonable fruitcake whilst they themselves are a paragon of virtue who has done nothing wrong at all.

Of course she has mental health issues & was verbally and emotionally abusive to her ex. What ex wife hasn’t been?

If assets have been legally finalised, if possible (as in if it’s not huge furniture) put any belongings she isn’t entitled to in yours/his car on the drive/road, and lock it. Leave in the house what you aren’t bothered about her taking, and let her get on with it. Chances are when allowed to; she won’t bother. If she’s doing it simply to be awkward.

He divorced 2 years ago, was there afinancial consent agreement? This will state what items are to be shared.

If she has been paying the mortgage jointly then she is entitled to visit. That was always the risk and your partner has had the benefit of reduced mortgage for 2 years.
If you are both moving to your property shortly can you just move there now?

Legally she has the right to enter the property and whilst I appreciate it's his home he needs to find a way to accommodate this. What items does she want? It could be sentimental stuff.

Have you had confirmed covid test?

She's getting something from her behaviour - something about your partners' reactions or something. Perhaps she senses your panic at her arriving unannounced or it's her final little way to assert control (presumably once the house is sold she will lose her ability to control things and assert herself in your lives) anyway, I'd examine what's making her tick here and remove it.

Perhaps by saying to her 'yeah sure, pop by anytime - we're isolating elsewhere though and have packed our boxes - just give us a shout what you want left out. We're not fussed just have some cleaning to do at some point' I think you'll find she loses interest very quickly....it's not about the stuff, she wants to freak you out and keep you on your toes, remove that power from her and she'll get very bored or trying to get a rise out if you.

Of course she has mental health issues & was verbally and emotionally abusive to her ex. What ex wife hasn’t been?

This stood out for me too. Especially "undiagnosed mental health issues" which basically means in her ex DP's (inexpert and unable to be objective) opinion she has mental health issues.

Op says diagnosed and untreated mh issues. Do read it properly!

If the house is still in her name but sold, not yet completed, she has every right to enter. You could change the locks be there 24/7 if you’re isolating to prevent this, but it would be hard to then call the cops to remove her prevent her removing possessions she claims are hers. Is she likely to drive 6 hours to do so?

Why can't she wait a couple of days why does it have to be now?

Get his stuff out leave anything that's hers (named in the divorce) and let her take it just film the condition of the house first incase she damages it

If the possessions are listed in the divorce settlement as the DP’s, then I think it’d be fairly easy to involve the cops. They’re not the exW’s now, so removing them with the intention of keeping or destroying them would be theft.

Whether the Police would bother / would be able to attend is something else again but I’m sure the OP’s vulnerability as a pregnant woman on her own, faced with a hostile third party, could be emphasised and prompt them to turn up.