Would this bother you... re phone

[Icancelledthecheque]

If your DH/DP left their phone face down all the time, and shut down whatever they’re doing when you enter the room?

Because I’ve just been shouted at and sworn at for saying it makes me uncomfortable. Apparently I’m paranoid. (I’m not - it happens all the time)

You're allowed to feel uncomfortable and no one should be shouting at you for expressing a feeling about that.
Whether you should feel uncomfortable is not something i can say but it doesn't sound like he really has any empathy about that.

They're hiding something. That reaction is ott.
I know loads of people who place their phone face down because the notifications bother them.

Yes, massively. And I was right to be uncomfortable when it was happening - he was cheating. (Actually, I was the one he was cheating with. I just didn't know that.)

Wow. How did you feel after he shouted and swore at you and gaslighted you called you paranoid?

If he was a dp id be leaving for being spoken to like i was a piece if shit. Harder if a dh.

It would only make me uncomfortable if I was shouted at

I’ve never noticed how DH leaves his phone.

His reaction is pretty full on and you don’t deserve to be shouted and sworn at.

What do you want to do now?

He's hiding something and doing a really shitty job of it. His abusive behaviour alone is enough to LTB.

I would say that’s gas lighting. And acting suspiciously.

You’re reaction is completely normal, his is not.

I absolutely hate notifications, they drive me crazy. I have my phone on silent most of the time purely because I hate notifications. I also hate other people's notifications, I just for some reason find the sound so unnecessary (I know this is ridiculous).

I would find if that was a change from how they use to behave with their phone old for sure and I would definitely also feel uncomfortable and if you cannot approach your partner with your feelings then that's not much of a relationship. And for your partner to respond like that is even more of a realisation that it's not much of a relationship.

When they react like that you know for a fact they are up to no good and are over reacting because they have been found out .

People who do this don't want their notifications public knowledge.
Hiding them in a marriage doesn't bode well.

Ooh I do this because I find notifications distracting and tempting when I'm doing something else so turn it back over when I am ready to look and have a quick scroll to check nothing urgent in one go, then turn it back face down after. I appreciate if it's a recent change that it would be worrying though.

The phone thing might be nothing, my Mr puts his phone down when I come into a room because he is just bored so reaches for phone.

It's the swearing and shouting reaction because you said it made you uncomfortable bit that's out of order.

I would ignore him for a bit.

Oh and shouting and swearing at you is obviously totally unacceptable.

If your DH/DP left their phone face down all the time, and shut down whatever they’re doing when you enter the room?

Lots of people leave their phones face down, that in itself is not uncommon. Shutting down what you are doing when someone comes into a room? Also very normal in terms of communication within normal family life. It would be more strange if he ignored you.

Because I’ve just been shouted at and sworn at for saying it makes me uncomfortable. Apparently I’m paranoid. (I’m not - it happens all the time)

Why does it make you feel uncomfortable? There had to be an absolute mountain of a back story here

I always put is face down specially when chatting. I just feel is distracting. My husband has full access to my phone if he wanted to use it. He never does but he can. Ask him to lend you his phone see what he says.