I can't cope with abusive ex anymore

[november90]

I just honestly can't cope.
He left me when I was 5 months pregnant with our second child in Jan 2020. It was completely out of the blue yet he blamed it all on me because I was the cause of all of our family, finical etc etc issues. No matter what it was, I caused it.
Since then he's been horrendous. Threat after threat of taking DS off me. Calling me a liar all the time about my care for the children. Constantly trying to trip me up. One min he's nice the next he's horrible.
Can anyone just hold me hand for a while. He's been at it again tonight accusing me of lying about a scratch ds1 has. I just feel like I'm going to spend the rest of my life on the receiving end of his gas lighting and narcissistic behaviour :(

I’m sorry you are dealing with this OP. I have no advice but hope that someone can come along with something helpful for you. Just want to handhold.

So sorry you e having to put up with this!

Here’s my advice:

Block him.

And when you unblock him just keep the conversation about the children and that’s it. He will soon get bored when he isn’t getting a response to his ridiculous questions and accusations.

He won’t take your children away from you, he up and left out of the blue, so it’s very very doubtful he will want the responsibility of full time parenthood added to his new found freedom.

Google Greyrock and see if you can take any tips from that for communication with him.

Keep your head up lady! Xxxx

Is there a court order for contact? If not, block and document all his nasty shit.

Hi all thanks for the replies. We don't have a court order in place we have managed to set that up between us for the time being. He doesn't really contact me much to be honest, I had muted an archive to his WhatsApp chat so generally it doesn't affect me. But the issue is is that he is so on stable with his attitude towards me. One minute he is nice and friendly, the next he's calling me a liar and making all sorts of accusations about me. I've never done anything to make somebody be so cruel to me also critical of me and I just feel like I'm never going to escape it.
I have absolutely zero romantic feelings towards him, that ship is well and truly sailed. I don't really expect anything more than him in a co-parenting relationship, however it is so hard for that to happen when he dismisses me and think so little of me as a parent. He is the parent that walked out on the family, I am the parent that's always been here and picked up the slack. I'm sick of feeling like I'm inadequate I'm not good enough. :(
He works in childcare and regulate tells me that he knows more about children than I do. He never pays attention to any of my comments when it comes to decisions about our children :(