Have I been ghosted?

[Whitetiara5]

Seeing someone since early October (we are in a bubble as both live alone), we get on really well and both feel we have a connection. He made his intentions clear from the start that he wanted a relationship, and it felt like we were working up to that.

We had an argument around a week ago which wasn’t really resolved.

On Wednesday morning we spoke and I said I wasn’t sure how I felt about everything, so I said I’d give him a call on my lunch break at work (which I do quite often as we have the same lunch breaks) and he said he thought we needed some time apart to decide if we want to continue.

I asked him to clarify what he meant and he was quite off with me, and not talkative. I mentioned I thought it would be better for us to just meet in person and discuss how we both feel, he blew me off and said possibly next week and that he’ll let me know.

It’s been 4 days now and I haven’t heard anything from him since our conversation on Wednesday - usually we arrange which days we will see each other over the weekend based on work schedules, and speak every day. I have a horrible feeling I won’t hear from him again

Am I overreacting to be worried about him ghosting now?

I’m afraid it doesn’t look good. I don’t think it sounds like ghosting, which I think of more as someone just disappearing out of the blue with no warning. But it sounds as if he doesn’t want to deal with the issues between you. In his mind he probably thinks it’s over or at least on hold as he has told you that you need some time apart.
I know it’s upsetting but try to see how someone who can’t even have an honest conversation is not good for you. He doesn’t seem to have much respect for how you are feeling.

What was your argument about?

4 months is really short amount of time. Are you exclusive? Maybe he is seeing other people

Well you haven't realy been ghosted as he's told you he wanted some time apart. But to be honest it doesn't look good. 4 months in, when this is supposed to be the fun apart, you've had a disagreement and he wants time apart to think about if he wants to continue. I think its pretty clear that this relationahip isn't ment to be

He actually started the argument, I had to reschedule the time we met up because I had an emergency and he questioned if I made the emergency up because I was just running late really odd and I wasn’t impressed. Gutted if this is the end though, I really like him neither of us are sleeping with anyone else but we haven’t had the whole what are we chat yet so I can’t rule out that he isn’t speaking to other women at all - we just agreed to be sexually exclusive from when we first started sleeping together

I want to speak to him but I know logically I have to just accept if he’s left. Nothing I can do to change it, it’s just a bit of a shock because he was the one who brought up wanting something serious, constantly telling me how into me he is and so on

I think he engineered the argument to take the cowardly way out. Or he met someone else. How old are you both? Very young?

Ask yourself if you want someone who accuses you of lying. Sounds abusive.

When you say 'working towards a relationship' what do you mean? If you met in October and wanted a relationship then by November (or December at the latet, considering covid) I would have expected you to be in one.

If you still dont know by mid February where you stand with someone after 4 or 5 months then he is wasting your time.

Also, arguments this early?

I've been dating someone since October too and if I was already arguing with him it would be in the bin with him lol.

Partners are meant to add joy to your life. Nor stress.

If he ghosts, you'll know he isnt the one for you. If he doesnt...maybe you should still consider that he isn't.

He doesn't sound nice anyway accusing you of lying and giving up so easily, you can do better.