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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Worried about the future

5 replies

Pebbledashery · 14/02/2021 19:45

My daughter had a supervised contact session with her father this weekend. If you've read my other threads you'll know the circumstances why it's led to supervised interim contact.. He's extremely violent and was abusive to DD also.
The contact supervisor bought DD back to me after her session and was giving me the handover.. She said to me what a lovely relationship she and her father have.. And I felt my heart sink a bit.. But then she said, There's only one reason that is.. And it's because of you. She said she's never seen a child respond positively to their father after so much time apart and it's apparent that her relationship has been maintained through me. I started to speak and the floodgates opened.. And I said I never ever speak badly of him to or in front of her. The contact supervisor then said that she is in amazement as to how strong I am and I should be proud of myself..
Why do I have to be the one that's strong all the time.
I wish I could tell DD her dad is a bad and scary man and hearing his name makes me physically sick.. But I don't and will never want to emotionally manipulate her.
It's so hard knowing they are having positive contact after everything he's done to both of us :(

OP posts:
Jesskir89 · 14/02/2021 22:07

Try and see it as a positive op. Hes entitled to these visits so isn't it better for dd that they are nice for her sake?

4LeafClover21 · 14/02/2021 22:40

Your doing a great job staying strong. The contact is supervised so right now you know she's in a safe environment.
She will know one day what you have had put up with and the full story.

Itstimetoquit · 14/02/2021 23:53

One day she will know the truth,you should be very proud of yourself x

Pebbledashery · 15/02/2021 13:49

Thank you. That's what the contact supervisor actually said to me too. That one day it's inevitable she'll find out what has happened and what he's like. It's just awful knowing he's playing father of the century after knowing what he did to us both.. But as pp said I'd rather contact was nice for her sake.
You don't end up in a contact centre for no reason at all.

OP posts:
Jesskir89 · 15/02/2021 14:33

Exactly op. Stay strong, you're doing great

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