Lonely

[giggle48]

I'm in my early 40s, happily married, 2 kids, I go to work, but I have no real friends. I find it really hard to make small talk. The one sort of friend I do have told me that they are leaving work in four weeks. She's a 'sort of friend' because since lockdown, she'll message me, but will not meet up for a walk, despite me asking. I'm happy that she's got a new job for her sake, but when I expressed that I was sad that she hadn't told me that she was looking for a job, I got not a nice reply back. I really desperately just want a female to talk to, to have coffee with or go for a walk, but I don't know how to meet anyone not through work. I'm so sad. I also suffer from depression so I get a bit intense sometimes - I either tell someone nothing or tell them everything.

I totally understand. Lockdown has really highlighted how few friends I’ve got! I’m thinking of joining a walking group and I’m also looking at relocating to a more friendly area with more going on. I think joining groups are your only option really.

I’m in a similar situation. I know friendships can take work but a lot of people I know seem to have a large family/grew up with people who they’re still friends with scenario. Now probably isn’t the easiest time to meet new people unless online. Have you tried lots of different clubs and activities in normal times? I hoped when I returned to work I’d meet people but then I got plonked in an office on my own. And then we went into lockdown. Two of my children are autistic so it really limited friendships so I find myself nearly 40 and like you really lonely.

Yeah, I have to work evenings by myself now and don't see any of my colleagues. I felt like this before lockdown but I just feel awful now. I know lots of people but none of them are friends if that makes sense. ie. I can talk to them in the street, but no phone calls or emails or meet ups outside the kids social events (before lockdown). So I guess they're acquaintances really. When I have been to clubs, I really don't know what to talk to people about.

It feels like lockdown has highlighted it a lot more. Like you I’ve got people who I can pass the time with but not people I’d call friends which is difficult and Facebook and the like make it so much worse as I see people leaving friends commenting on their friends post and it highlights how lonely I feel. It’s difficult to start a conversation and keep it flowing and have it drift into meeting up more. Once things settle down I keep saying to myself I’ll put myself out there a bit more but I think lockdown has knocked my already low confidence.