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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Long distance relationship confusion.

2 replies

Summertime246 · 13/02/2021 20:33

Hi

I was wondering if someone could help me with something. I've been with my OH for around 18 months. For the first 6 months of our relationship, he lived nearby and we saw each other often. I was really comfortable with him and fell for him pretty quickly, everything was lovely.

After 6 months, he moved three hours away for a temporary work post. This wasn't ideal, but not the end of the world and he's due to move back in 12 months.

Anyway, here's the problem. We speak every single day through messaging and we have a phone call most days after work for a couple of hours. I could talk to him for hours and hours and never get bored. We bounce off one another so well and when we video chat, I'm so attracted to him, I'm very much intending for this to be a serious long-term relationship. However, prior to the most recent lockdown, we would try and see each other every three weeks or so. Just for one night as our working schedules only allow for that and for some reason, I don't feel comfortable around him face to face anymore. When we are together, I can't think of what to talk about and I just feel a bit turned off. I spend a lot of that time thinking I'm just going to end things, but as soon as he leaves and we chat on the phone/over message again, I'm back head over heels! It's so confusing.

Any advice? Or has anyone experienced something similar?

OP posts:
toastandbutterat5am · 13/02/2021 20:47

You maybe need to see him for more than one night... a couple of days to relax into it and then see how you feel.
I really think that will give you the answer you need. There's no rush quite yet.

Theredone5 · 13/02/2021 23:00

You need to see him more.

I was the same with my boyfriend who is an hour away from where I live. But as we spent more time together feelings have grown stronger. I no longer feel like you do which was messing with my head for a time.

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