Exs contact with our dd now he has a new partner

[Alittlepieceofsilence]

So a bit of background, I left ex as he was abusive.. we have a 2 yr old DD. Went through court and he got eow for 2 nights but refuses any indirect contact between those overnights.

Now ex has a new partner and he keeps dropping contact, I guessing because he has her over.. which actually doesn't surprise me as once his brother visited the UK and he decided not to see DD or take her to see her uncle but go to the cinema instead.

But should I expect this to be a regular thing now? For him to continuously drop contact as he wishes...

Possibly- also may well pick up drop off in attempts to prove he is a great job- if they split up another change.

I would just make a note and the reason why at this point- you have a trail of evidence then.

Might be an idea to keep a diary of what he says / what his excuses are as to why he doesn't want her that weekend. Definitely keep all texts/emails if there are any.
You never know when you might need them, handy to have if anything happens through the courts etc in the future.

No Mumsnetter will be able to tell you what your ex's future plans are. Surely it's a good thing if he cUts his visits back though

I guess I was just looking for others who have experienced similar. I am documenting it all as there have been issues in the past.. just trying to figure out if it is quite common for some dad's to fight and try to make you look unreasonable in court only then to drop contact - sort of makes me wonder what will happen after lockdown and post covid 19.

Our court process started at the beginning of the first lockdown, he didn't even ask how dd was for about month, before covid he didn't show much interest.. if he had a better offer or the option to go out and drink in the city he would. It definitely would be better if cuts visits back because he doesn't take much interest but what baffles me is him putting me through hell proclaiming to love his daughter only to not bother. But in some ways I think maybe he is just bored.. nothing to do in lockdown other than see DD and try to get to me and then he finds someone else and his attention is diverted.

He can be fined via enforcement if you choose to pursue.

Abusive people are usually low in empathy and see other people as objects so I am not surprised you are experiencing this. So sorry for your little one as they don't understand. My exH dropped our daughter soon after moving his new partner in. She took a dislike to our daughter, no surprise as she was quite vocal about not wanting step children before she moved in. Ex H was happy to reduce contact until partner sealed the deal by being verbally abusive to daughter. Ex husband never did anything to rectify the situation.

To be honest my DD is better off without him. She sees him exactly for what he is and has moved on.

I can't help much but just don't give any hint to DD when she might see her dad. Then it'll be a nice surprise when she does see him rather than an expectation. My dad used to do this after my parents split and I still remember sitting on the driveway for hours waiting for him to pitch up. Honestly it would have been better if he had no contact at all! As soon as he split up with ever woman he was with the contact with go up again and then when he'd meet someone else I'd not see him for month. I feel for you!