Could this be Autism Spectrum Disorder? (Toddler, 2yrs 4months)

[JC2021]

I feel awful writing this about my own child, my DS is aged 2yrs 4m. He is intelligent, funny, witty - but also very afraid of other children, he is showing no interest in interacting with kids in the playground at all, he literally runs behind my leg, doesn't speak to them or say his name (and he can! he speaks quite well) Could be shy?

He is at home with me and not attended nursery yet, will start him age 3. (unless that might make things worse?)

He is also slow to warm in any new situation, with any new person, very cautious. He hasn't been the easiest baby to bring up, very strong willed, doesn't sleep well, had severe reflux and colic, had an infection at birth, difficult labour (long time pushing) big baby 10 pounds..

I'm sharing this as I took him to the park today and it now makes me feel sad for him, when other kids come over, he runs behind me. I said would "you like to say hello" he said, 'no, I want to go home now'

He often uses the words 'sad' and 'afraid' 'scared'.. me and hubby try our best but something doesn't seem right.. I don't know where he has this negativity from.. me and hubby try keep everything light.

he's a libra baby, apparently the easiest to bring up?!

Is this just shy? or something else? I spoke to the GP about his sleep /lack of and his shouting at times, didn't seem bothered / wanted me off the phone i think, lol..

I am prone to anxiety myself and do wonder if I passed it to him when he was a baby.. I suffered quite badly with anxiety when he was 0-1yrs.. and had very little support..

I might call the Health Visitor and see what they say..

Thanks x

No it doesn’t sound like ASD just from what you say - not saying it isn’t but not the first thing I’d think of. I think covid has limited his opportunities to interact. Nursery should definitely not be delayed, I think you’ll find he comes on in leaps and bounds and if there are any concerns staff will pick up on them.

Some kids are slow approach, some are fast approach. They're both absolutely normal and boring things to be. (So is being on the autistic spectrum BTW.) It's just yours sounds like he takes a while to warm up. Nothing to worry about.

I agree with @taffydog.

My daughter is on the spectrum. I know everyone displays differently but it sounds as if he is more shy due to spending so much of his young life in socially restricted conditions.

My son had terrible reflux, barely slept, fussy eater and basically didn't want to be near anyone but me. I started him at nursery age 2 to help his social skills but he would try and escape! I worried because of my daughter but as soon as he started school (not saying it will take your son so long of course!) he completely settled down.

He has a close group of friends, ahead at school but still comes across as shy and quiet with new people and he's 11! It might just be his nature and I wouldn't be too concerned. Once he starts nursery you will have feedback from them as well and will know how to move forward x

No, doesn't sound like ASC to me (as someone who is one the spectrum). More like shyness.

Sounds more like shyness. He also seems to be aware of his own feelings which an autistic child might find more difficult. My 13 year old autistic son still can’t tell me he feels sad, scared, excited because he doesn’t know. I don’t think being a difficult baby means autism either. My eldest was such an easy baby - never cried.

@KitHenry my daughter was exactly the same! Rarely cried but also rarely smiled as a baby.

Thanks very much for your replies. It's put my mind at rest. Not saying anything bad about autism at all, just wondering whether I should ask for a referral for this to be checked by a professional.

I've always felt his shyness, but have worried due to some of his outbursts and strong tantrums coupled with social anxiety.

He has barely been around any kids - we introduced him to nursery but took him out after 1st settling session and he had a red mark on his cheek that they couldn't explain to me - looked like he was slapped or had a fall in garden, he was in bits when i collected him.. Also, due to covid I wasn't allowed to be part of the settling process.

I think this experience has made me want to wait until he can talk better - but not sure if I'm hindering him socially but waiting until age 3.

He hasn't been around any kids poor thing - we also moved house when he was age 1 and I don't know anyone in the area at all! Started groups and this all came to end when lockdown happened - i really feel for him - it's like he is frightened of every kid in the playground :(

Sounds like shyness to me.

Such a shame OP that he's been unable to socialise. I forgot to mention in my earlier post...my shy son also used to have terrible tantrums! Funny you mention your sons zodiac sign because mine is a Taurus and I used to put it down to that lol.

My son is the same age and similar in the playground. It seems the same with most only kids who aren't at nursery and haven't been socialising during lockdown; am not worried and I don't think you should be. All the best

thanks for the reassurance all - I can't wait for groups to open up for him!

My 4yo was the exact same at that age! Started nursery shortly afterwards and he came on leaps and bounds socially. Within 2 months he was a different child! I'm sure once things open up and you can meet with other people he will become more confident.

I have two autistic child, both displayed different types of signs (a boy and a girl).

I’d echo everyone else - from what you’ve said, doesn’t sound like autism.

My son particularly struggled with interaction but he was just oblivious to others. My daughter just wouldn’t know what to say in response or how to interact and felt very overwhelmed. Son diagnosed at 4, daughter aged 10 (they’re twins). In our friendship group of SEN mums I can’t think of any of our children who exhibited those behaviours. My guess too would be shyness.

Your DS is still very young, and he’s communicating well - another suggestion it’s not ASC. Do you notice any excessive sensory behaviours at home? Any excessive reactions to anything? It can be tricky to tell as toddlers aren’t renowned for being the most reasonable of creatures haha!

When you’re able to with Covid etc, just gradually increase their interaction slowly. Don’t try too much too soon, give him time to adjust. Any young child can get overwhelmed in situations which feel unfamiliar to them.

Don’t worry ❤️

Our DD was exactly the same. We also didn’t put her in nursery until she was 3, simply because we didn’t have too as DGP wanted to look after her with my nieces.

Now, at 6, she is quite happy to play on her own in the park and equally as confident and happy to join in with others. I sometimes worry about the fact that she is extremely happy in her own company and making her own entertainment but lots of people tell me this is a great attribute as we as adults sometime struggle when we’re on our own as we’re so used to being surrounded by people, as she’s learning these skills now, it should see her in good stead. Don’t get me wrong, we’re always around her and playing with her but she will tell us when she wants to be on her own.