Domestic abuse- medical records

[Anonymouseky]

When your doctor becomes aware of domestic abuse in your past relationship do the medical codes/ markers they put on yours and your children’s medical notes ever get removed? What about when you’ve left the relationship and the problem is no longer ‘current’? I understand that these things have to be recorded, but I’m terrified that if one of my children accidentally injures themselves and I have to take them to the doctors they will immediately have concerns. I have two very energetic children so I’m expecting a broken limb at some point in their childhood. Seems unfair that this problem follows you around for life even when you’ve escaped the relationship 😔 I want to be able to let my children be children and not live in fear of them falling over or needing any kind of medical attention ever

It’s not so much that I think this information should be removed completely for situations like mine, but more than the information shared and stored should be detailed, proportional and accurate. To give a bit of background, I’ve worked with looked after children and child protection agencies myself in my professional life so I can see how varied and complex two situations can be. Upon looking into medical codes I can see that there is a flaw in the way these things are recorded. It’s too much of a ‘one size fits all’. It doesn’t. It’s far far more complex and the current policies need amending to avoid unnecessary damage to children and their care givers. This isn’t about me wishing to protect myself, it’s actually about me wanting to protect children and families who really do not need the spotlight and focus limited resources on those that do. A simple change in the way these things are recorded (a wider variety of medical codes for example) would do this

I had a similar situation to the first pp, someone made a malicious referral about me to SS, they said they needed to contact all the agencies to check no concerns (one being the gp) they did and anyway the case was closed (no plans or whatever)

anyway a few weeks later I took my son to the gp and I was confronted by him and asked why I was “under social services” I was really surprised they put something on my file as it was only an assessment and never went anywhere. I explained the malicious referral and told him the case had been closed, anyway he obviously didn’t believe me as a few weeks later I needed to take my other child to the gp, this was a duty dr so not the same one and he referred my son onto a&e. He gave me a letter and told me to hand it in at a&e, stupidly I never opened the letter. I was just in such a rush to get him there and I assumed the letter just detailed the problem, so I handed over the letter at a&e and he had only wrote in the letter that there are “safeguarding concerns” as mum is “known to social services” I was absolutely shocked. I was confront by the drs and made to feel like a criminal. Both times my children were taken to the gp were both nothing to be suspicious of, one was because my son kept getting nose bleeds and the second was my sons asthma!

I made a complaint after and they agreed to take it off the file as I didn’t want to be made to feel like a criminal every time I took my child to the gp and treated with suspicion.

@Happycat1212 that sounds like an awful experience. Good on you for complaining. There are many reasons why a family may become ‘known to social services’ and I honestly think it highlights that a lot of professionals need more training on these issues. This is my point of contention really because if the notes the GP surgery had were detailed enough then they would have known the reason why you were ‘known’ to them and you wouldn’t have been treated in that way. It’s easy for people who haven’t been through it to say how you should cope with it but until you’ve experienced it you can never know how horrific it is to be indirectly accused of causing your child harm. My children have some quite serious health issues anyway so I will be in and out of hospitals with them throughout their childhood. I imagine I will come across many prejudiced professionals and have to explain myself countless times and I can’t help but be a little peeved at that when detailed record keeping could stop unnecessary enquiries

I just think you're fretting unnecessarily and dramatising. When I had PND and my son had some undiagnosed health issues, the SS did get involved with us briefly. It's no doubt on our records somewhere, and it was upsetting, but it's never been problematic and no-one is out to get you.

I’m glad they took it off tbh, it’s not about fretting unnecessarily like pp put it more that I don’t like being treated with suspicion every time I take my child to the dr.

If it helps - from my previous story, I have never ever had an issue from the domestic violence being on any kind of record. I do not like it there. But it hasn't caused any issues. My middle child has autism and adhd so we have lots of medical input. My eldest too. In fact at some point all my children have had lots of medical input. Once my eldest (then 15) and my middle (age 4) broke bones just weeks apart. I took one child to have their cast removed and was back 2 days later to have a different childs put on. They recognised me. Still didn't cause an issue.
As much as I hate knowing it is festering away there, it certainly hasn't caused any problems at any point of my life or my childrens lives thus far.

Sorry, I meant my eldest has lots of medical input (eczema under dermatology for treatment). He doesn't have autism or adhd .

@ThisMustBeMyDream that is very reassuring to hear, thank you. I really hope my experience is the same. Hopefully once I’ve moved and changed doctors and schools and built up a good relationship with the new doctors and teachers I’ll relax a bit