OH not helping me with our baby

[sheeponthewintermoor]

It’s probably unfair to say he doesn’t help because he does but generally I have to ask for help.

Dc is 7 and a half weeks and she doesn’t really sleep at all during the day. Generally wakes up twice in the night to be fed. So I do all night feeds and then during the day OH is working. Obviously a bit limited what we can do with lockdown. Since she doesn’t sleep I get no downtime at all during the day and then I’m on all night and since this is the case during the week it naturally extends to weekends too.

Is this normal? He is a good person so I think it’s thoughtlessness rather than anything else.

@ThrowItOnMe

It's concerning to read that the baby has been awake for almost 12 hours.

She slept for maybe an hour / hour and a half tops in that time, all in twenty minute blocks. Some days she just doesn’t nap no matter what you do.

Thanks, I think you’re right. I probably am guilty of seeing her as ‘my’ job.

You know, once baby is fed, winded, clean and dry, had a cuddle/bit of social time and if she is medically well, it’s ok to settle her in her bed and leave her. I probably come across as old school, but I have been in your situation many years ago. Im not advocating leaving her to cry for ages....not at all. Another thought is, she getting enough milk? Apart from that, yes your partner should be pitching in to give you a break, it’s not all your responsibility at all. Have a talk, tell him how you’re feeling and divide some of the caring. Perhaps he thinks he can’t do much? Have the talk and clear the resentment. Good luck.

@sheeponthewintermoor Does she seem uncomfortable? Is she crying a lot? Have you considered maybe reflux or silent reflux? CMPA? Is she breastfed? Is there a possibility of tongue tie? Maybe worth a Google and see if any of the symptoms ring a bell? And have a chat with your HV or GP? Because it's not really normal for a baby to sleep so little- it happens of course but important to rule out any underlying issues.

Your DH should absolutely be helping more. It's not ok that he's not.

It's so tough in the early weeks. It does get better I promise.

I know and every day isn’t like that to be fair but I have explored reflux, she’s had a tongue tie snipped, so not sure really. Just doesn’t nap.