Funeral with NC family members there.

[SirChing]

My adored grandma passed away at the end of January. The funeral is later this month. I am NC with two of her four DC and their families, due to them being toxic. They are bullying, arrogant and manipulative. My DGM was scared of them by the end.

My DM will be going to the funeral, though she is NC with her siblings too. She has had to break the NC to get the funeral arrangements, but the toxic siblings have been vile once again.

I feel sick at the thought of seeing them at the funeral. I used to have panic attacks before I saw them in the past. I loved my DGM so much, and want to honour her and support my mum, but I do feel the funeral will really adversely affect me.

My DM doesn't mind if I don't go. She understands as I was on the receiving end of their toxic behaviour for longer than her, surprisingly. She will have the DB she does speak to there, and really doesn't feel she needs my support.

Would you go?

💐 SirChing I'm really sorry you find yourself in this position and send my condolences on the loss of your dear Grandma. Such families are never easy and cause much enduring damage. Whatever you decide, take the very best care of yourself.

Thank you so very much everyone. I really appreciate the advice. The funeral director is looking into whether the service can be followed online.

Sorry for your loss.

Due to coronavirus restrictions, it may make it slightly easier just to turn up, sit at a distance and then leave immediately afterwards!

I wouldn't go, although did attend my mother's funeral with my NC siblings.
They may be more aggressive and hit you hard when you're at your most vulnerable don't give them that satisfaction. Your DGM would most certainly understand so I'd pay my respects in a way she would have enjoyed. Sorry for your sad loss.