Husband and I have been together for 25 years, since we were still at school.
He is all that I have ever known and my childhood was awful and I was in care from age 10 and left when I was 17.
He hasn't been the best husband and has been caught talking to other woman (telling them what a crap wife I am, asking them to meet him) on and off throughout our marriage.
The first time I found out what he was doing was a week after our youngest was born.
We had a talk and thought we had got over it and he wouldn't do it again.
Anyway he did it about 3 times after and me being stupid I let it go and wanted my children to have what I didn't.
I am quite vunrable which I think makes things worse as he knows this.
It came to a head 8 years ago when I found out he was speaking to a woman for an hour everyday, hiding to go talk to her and text her.
I told him to leave and he did, he only bothered to come and see the kids once in the 2 months he was gone.
We have disabled children which I know doesn't help things but is no excuse.
Things are hard but 99% of everything falls on me I don't work as im there carer which I understand as he works I need to do most of the house hold stuff and I'm not perfect and I can get stressed and as he says 'nags' but mainly though when he doesn't do anything but watch football and drink on a weekend.
My middle child ended up very poorly in hospital and he came up to see him.
We had a good talk and we both wanted to try again (yes stupid on my part looking back).
So all was well until last year, he went to his dads during the first lockdown as we have 2 children who had to sheild and he had to work.
We spoke most nights and I thought everything was ok, he came back the first week of June when covid was a lot better and the specialists said that our children was at risk but didn't need to shield any longer.
I noticed he had took married of Facebook which when I asked him he said he didn't know what happened.
He put it on so I could see and then a couple of days later it was gone again.
I wasn't allowed to put anything up on our anniversary and he said it was because it was his birthday.
I got him a very expensive gift for his birthday which I had saved up and he put it on Facebook saying thanks to his family for his gift.
Which I thought why not say wife?
He did admit that he did took married off because I kept going on at him about having married on there apparently.
Well 2 weeks ago I found out he has been speaking to this woman again from 8 years ago.
Since the first lockdown as he told me he was lonely!
He promised me he would never contact her again, and he did.
I did tell him to go, told him that was the worst he could ever do to me after everything.
I'm really trying to not take him back, he obviously does not care about me and I'm just a complete mug for letting him do this to me over and over again.
How do you get over this? I'm trying to gain every bit of strength I can and look after my children and make sure there ok as they are hurting to.