Alopecia and partner

[alopeciarelationship]

I have alopecia since about 2016.
Partner (of 14 years) was initially supportive and reassuring. I did push him away a lot for a couple of years though.
My hair loss is partial but significant. I feel better wearing wigs or hairpieces and sometimes headbands.

My issue is the past few months my partner has started making comments which suggest it bothers him. Once when I wasn't wearing my wig he blurted out (when a bit drunk one weekend) that I look 'ill' (alopecia doesn't mean that). I was really upset and he knew it. On the other hand recently he's made a couple of comments (once literally right before sex) like 'you should take that wig off' and 'why are you hiding away'.

It's like I can't win either way . He claims he meant nothing by it and gets annoyed at me for being upset. I am angry though because recently it's him who brought it up yet can't deal with my reaction. To me, it clearly bothers him somewhat, but he won't admit that. Claims it doesn't bother him at all. Why comment then??!! Obviously it does bother him.

I've explained to him it's my choice how I deal with it and he agrees but it still really hurts. The last comment was last week and I'm still reeling. He's talking about romantic dinners and I just feel flat.

Feel like leaving to be single so I don't have to deal with this.

There is a fabulous company in dublin called hair spray that could help you.

I think they have crowd funding for alopcia for help to buy wigs and hair pieces.
Alopecia uk have done them, you could set up your own with a link on here, I'm sure many people would contribute, maybe you could get a few expensive ones.

I think there is also a website that people donate wigs that have not been used and they are sold with a high discount.
Apologies if you already know this.

As for your husband, is it worth going to councelling as you could both open up and maybe he needs to hear it from someone else that he is being unkind and unsupportive.
Men can be idiots like this, not an excuse but sometimes they need things pointing out to them.
It may also help him deal with your frustration.
You sound lovely by the way
For you.