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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Why do I stay??

36 replies

Alicew00 · 09/02/2021 18:44

Yesterday I calmly asked my boyfriend of 1 year if he says he is so smart why not get a job aa he could do anything he wanted. He decided to call my brother in law greedy for working all week to support his family because my boyfriend doesn't want to work long hours.
He said there's no point in working to come home tired and moody and to save up for nothing. He said my dad works all week and might save up and not spend it on anything. Said what's the point in that.
Then he started bringing up bills that I pay for and said I need to get rid of netflix even though I can afford it and my kids use it alot! He said he can't believe I spent 50 pound on my teenage sons trainers last year for his birthday when they didn't fit but I said they fit his brother and I got his big brother a bigger size. But then he said well what if you didn't have the younger brother? That I would of had to sell them cheaper.
Oh he went on and on!
I know it's daft to stay but I split up with him before
before treating me like crap and realised I loved him and don't want to regret it again.

OP posts:
Alicew00 · 10/02/2021 10:10

I am going to get rid. I can't be unhappy anymore. I won't drag myself down. I don't like him anymore I'm really put off him.

OP posts:
PinkyParrot · 10/02/2021 10:10

He's so good to the kids I don't get him.

So good how?
Takes them out daily for exercise to make sure they don't get weak and lazy.
Sits with them and supervises all homework.
Chats with them regularly.
Cooks nourishing meals each night?
Helps them and supervises housework.
or do you mean plays games online with them and shoves a pizza in the oven sometimes?

Alicew00 · 10/02/2021 10:12

He always asks them to do their school work
Play games with them and sometimes does their dinner. That's it. Hes doesn't make me happy anymore. So I'm telling him to go.

OP posts:
Alicew00 · 13/02/2021 15:57

He's GONE .I told him to leave.
When I tried to explain why he didn't want to know. He just told me to stop going on.
And left expecting me to text him. But I haven't and I won't. I never felt so headstrong and not going back to some one.
I'm so glad I did it.

OP posts:
Arrivederla · 13/02/2021 17:00

Well done op! Flowers

CuriousaboutSamphire · 13/02/2021 17:14

Well done.

Did he take all of his stuff with him? If he left so.much as a single sock he'll use it to worm his way back in.

Go through every room and put anything he left behind ina bin bag. When he contacts you tell him it's on your doorstep, he needn't knock?

Good luck. Come back for more support if/when you need it 😊

Pokske · 13/02/2021 17:28

You spend your money on whatever you want.
Leave the stingy lazy men behind, we're better of withour them.

Alicew00 · 13/02/2021 17:47

Thanks... He has left some of his stuff so I knew straight away he would expect me to let him back but I'm certainly not. I will do exactly that leave it outside for him collect :-)

OP posts:
Blacktothepink · 13/02/2021 18:08

👏👏👏👏

Meowtha · 13/02/2021 18:14

Well done op!

FatCatThinCat · 13/02/2021 18:23

Well done OP. It takes strength to say enough when a relationship is crap. Onwards and upwards with your DC.

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