Partner bankrupt/ protecting children's inheritance

[libraladies]

My partner was declared bankrupt some
years ago. He is out of the woods now and all suns paid back. He believes he will never get a mortgage again as his ratings will be bad forever .
We are getting serious andI see us as a long term couple .
I have a small mortgage on my own home which will be paid in three years.
If we do get married in the future, is there a way to protect my own children's inheritance(house/ pension ) .
He fully agrees with this but because of my experience with ex h I can never trust a persons promise regarding finances again , especially when I am
Passed and am
Oblivious !
Is there a way to do this?
We will never be able to buy together if that means him getting half a mortgage I expect , although he will have decent savings to contribute if there was a way round this. Thanks .

Don’t get married
Don’t have joint accounts
Keep your own house, in your name.
See a solicitor

Thanks@CatsGoPurrrr . Is the only option not to get married then ? Can I put the house into the children's names while I'm alive ? We don't share bank accounts and won't be . I am fiercely independent financially and so is he . He is a higher earner but low credit rating .im the opposite

It his bankruptcy was more than 6 years ago and he’s not had any adverse credit since then of course he can get a mortgage on exactly the same terms as anyone else in a similar position to him. However in your situation I wouldn’t get married as that’s the only way to really protect your children’s inheritance

Keep your house in your name and leave a will leaving it to your children.
I wouldn't marry him tbh or buy property with him in joint names. If you do get proper legal advice how to protect your share and ensure it goes to your children.

Thanks to ops. Can I ask why you would advise not to marry him @ @Stripyhoglets1

Pps I meant!

If you live in England, if you marry your then husband could be entitled to half of your assets if you split, even if you have a pre-nup as they are not legally binding. If you want to keep your assets for your children, don’t get married, don’t let him contribute to the mortgage and seek legal advice before you let him move in

I'm a qualified mortgage adviser - yes he could get a mortgage in the future if it's more than six years since his bankruptcy. Don't get married, putting the house in your children's names won't necessarily protect it as it could be seen as deprivation of assets.

Marriage is ultimately a legal contract and it sounds like you have a lot to potentially lose

The only way to truly protect it is by not marrying him.

If you're fiercely independent financially then marrying will take that independence away.
Marriage is a partnership, unless you want your dp to have an equal claim on your assets and vice versa then don't marry.

Also note if he lives in your house with you, married or not, he could get money from any house sale potentially. Speak to a solicitor if this is the case and get something signed by him to say he won't do this.

Regardless of the bankruptcy I would be wary of marriage, you are in a strong financial position I don't see any sense in jeopardising that.

Definitely don’t get married. Protect yours and your children’s assets.

I agree with everyone saying don’t marry him. Also, don’t allow him to contribute to the mortgage or upkeep of the property.

I say that because you have your own DC who might be sidelined.

Why do you want to get married op? As opposed to living together indefinitely? If your mortgage is paid off in three years would you want to move even if he could get a mortgage?

I'm open to marrying again but not if it means risking my children's inheritance .
I would be happy to move to a smaller house once my children leave home and go on with their own lives .
I thought about selling and dividing the monies between the children for their first deposit when they reach a certain age . That way, I thought we could then get a joint mortgage together and succession rights would be as normal ie our children would inherit a share each on our deaths . I'm only starting
To think about it so I was interested to hear your opinions and experiences .

Do not marry him. Marriage weakens your financial position he could claim a share of your assets in case of divorce especially if it’s a long marriage. Also if you die even if you left a will leaving everything to your children he could claim the house or at least an interest in the house for the rest of his life if it could be proved he was dependant on you .

Hi OP

Your last post (13:04) sounds like an ideal solution. This way your D.C. get their “inheritance” of their share in your home now
Later, buy another house jointly with your DP, get married and own the new property as joint tenants (each owning 50%) and in your wills each distributing your 50%

In that scenario, you can allow each of you a life interest in your new home so the other does not need to move out/sell upon the death of the other, but still preserving their 50% to be an inheritance for their respective children.

Also if you die even if you left a will leaving everything to your children he could claim the house or at least an interest in the house for the rest of his life if it could be proved he was dependant on you

^ Thats disturbing if true.

This is the problem with marriage after children when the woman has assets. I've known women rush into this, even when its pointed out the problem here - that they are effectively disinheriting their children - and without even taking any legal advice or drawing up any documents! But they push ahead regardless. One friend started shouting and crying at me, when I pointed out this consideration. She preferred not to think about it . They divorced eventually, but I don't know what happened as we lost touch. I think she gave him some money or something.

At least OP is considering the ramifications.

But if what Bertie alludes to is true, its all so complicated, legally and financially, marrying later in life when you have children already does seem a questionable decision. You could draw up a whole raft of legal documents, but you could never be sure, as Bertie said.

Also, if you are the only one with assets, you could be giving up a massive amount of your own financial security if things go wrong. Can you not just be a happy couple without the marriage contract, at this stage in life? I think you would have to be very very sure of someone and have major legal advice and take the necessary measures to ensure you and/or your children didn't lose out.

Perhaps research a prenup and get advicw

Also note if he lives in your house with you, married or not, he could get money from any house sale potentially. Speak to a solicitor if this is the case and get something signed by him to say he won't do this. that’s not true if they’re not married and the house does not belong to the DP.

This is a common misconception that partners have any rights - they don’t. This is why if someone dies their partner can effectively be left with nothing while e.. the family take the inheritance and even sell the house and the partner moves out.

OP, I really wouldn’t marry him. I wouldn’t even buy a house with him.

How did his bankruptcy come about? Because depending on the circumstances I would be dubious about tying anything up with him in terms of finances.

Absolutely don't marry him.

Marriage is a financial contract. All the romance, love, religious baggage is frills. At its heart, it's a property transaction.

I wouldn't go into business with a bankrupt. Marriage is a business transaction.

Just don't marry him. The primary function of marriage is to create a legal contract between two people, specifically around financial responsibilities and obligations. If you do not want to be bound by he terms of the contract, don't enter in to it.

Marriage is a mugs game if one half of the couple brings in a lot more financially or owns their own property ........I say that for both genders.

He can contribute financially by paying towards bills. If he wants to get on the housing ladder he can buy a property and let it out so he has some security and a fall back plans if things go wrong.

But no, I wouldn't marry him.

A relative (appeared to be well set up with a mortgage free house and income) married someone who also seemed fairly similar.
However the new spouse carried on paying the mortgage for a couple more years and then handed over the now paid for house to adult child who had remained living there when parent moved in with relative when they got married.
Fast forward 10 years (trigger for long marriage) they started divorce proceedings and my relative had to sell up to pay them off as they had no savings or house etc (because they had given it away but that didn’t matter) They wanted half but in the end it was reduced but not enough to allow them to keep the house.