Hi I'm new here, and just wanted to let everything out. I'm 33 and a mum of 2 girls. (2 and 6) I have been with my partner for 10 years. To be honest I'm planning on leaving, I just don't know when. Finally I'm seeing clearly and looking back I can now see the red flags for what they were. It started one NYE and we were in a busy pub and someone pointed out he had red wine down the back of his shirt, he blamed me for it, when the clock struck 12 it was like being in a film surrounded by all these happy people while he was having a go at me. We've had good times, but I have grown to resent him, he would work away and moan about how tidy the house was and pick in the thing I hadn't done , like some dusting. I spent my time working and looking after our first child. I do everything cook, clean, laundry, shopping, taking the children out. He does DIY at weekends and moans if things aren't going right. There's been countless times where he had been a nightmare. After a night out with friends he called me a miserable bitch and threw sauce at me. He put a guitar through the wall because he was drunk and I wouldn't help him, I pretended to be asleep to avoid the situation. He smashed the dinner up the wall because I said something he didn't like. He threw the ironing board at me because I made a comment to him. More recently he decided he wanted to move the iron from where I kept it into another cupboard and insisted on doing it even when I said it wasn't helpful. He has thrown biscuits and other items at me whilst I hold my daughter. He has never been supportive when I've had the girls both by c section and he would continue to do DIY whilst I'm trying to sort them both out, cook etc.
On one occasion he would continue to tip the cooking oil on the floor everytime I said something, resulting on more and more oil on the floor. He called me a manipulative bitch at times, he tells me I'm disorganised and when I ask for help which I've done on many occasions he told me 'im not helping you get out of something you should have already done'. If I'm upset he'll say are you having one if your moments again, he says mental health problems run the in 'smith' family (my cousin has bipolar).
We argued the other day and haven't really spoken since our home is tense and he keeps trying to laugh about it, he tells me it's because I undermine him and am never on his side with the girls. Even though I didn't undermine him, I agreed with what both he said and what my daughter said. I want to leave and end our relationship just need some advice. There's so much more to mention too. Thanks and sorry it's so long. X