People who work or who's partners work nights.

[Ledkr]

I want a bit of perspective here.
Dh is police and works a shift pattern 2 x 7-5 2 x 2-12 and 2x nights 11-7.
He then gets 4 days off. Loads of these shifts are at weekends or finish just before a weekend.
I work mon to fri school hrs and we have 2 dd at home 18 and 9.
He often finishes late on the lates and so needs to sleep the next day often till its nearly time to go back in.
Obv on the nights he also sleeps in the day and gets up around tea time.
My issue is that on his days off he is so knackered that he sleeps a the time. Lies in til 12 if we havent got plans and is then dozing off on the sofa in the evening.
I get he's shattered, i used to work nights too but im wondering if hes anaemic or unwell or of this is what most people do. Its really impacting on our lives now as we get hardly get any time together. Our youngest was so excited that he was here at the weekend and he slept till 2 sat and 12 sunday.
It obv feels worse at the moment cos we dont really see anyone else so look forward to his days off.
So I was wondering if this is pretty standard.

I did that shift pattern as a Police officer for about 4 years and it was ok. I was mid 30s at the time with 3 kids. I actually quite liked it tbh, I sleep until about 1pm after the first night and until 11am on my first rest day. I occasionally managed to grab an hour or 2 after the kids were in bed before a night shift. I had to get up for the school run after a late shift even after (regularly) finishing in the early hours. I think I just had no choice so just got on with it and didn't realise I was so used to constantly feeling tired. It didn't really affect our quality of life, in fact I liked the bonus mornings off before lates and the 'day off' before the first night shift.
You can get used to it and not let it beat you!
I do go to bed mega early on early turn tho, normally in bed by 8 and asleep by 9 for the 5am alarm so I'm getting a good 8 hours on those nights These days I've gone part time so now do 2 earlies 2 lates and have 6 days off and rarely have to do a night. Winner!

I have been long haul crew for 35 years. The shifts and the time changes are killers. Your husband is going through something similar to jet lag. Make sure he has good food and vitamins in his diet as shifts will take its toll on the body and mind. Add the dark nights in and it will continue to bugger up anyones system. Your husband is in a stressful job on top of stressful hours so what I read is quite normal for the job and the shifts. On a side note I have not flown for a year due to furlough and it took me 9 months to get used to sleeping in my own bed at night as hadn't done so for such a long stretch of time.

@JorisBonson

No idea *@PaterPower*. It's been 6 on / 4 off for a while.

Used to be 12 hour shifts with lots of quick changeovers until the EU working directive put an end to that!

Going right around the clock in the space of six days must be hell though. I'd much rather work 6 earlies, 4 off, 6 lates, 4 off, 6 nights, 4 off. That would be far less disruptive.