Really dreading tonight

[MrsSnape]

posted yesterday - briefly...going to a show tonight with ex as friends. We arranged he would sleep here the night as he lives miles away from me.

Ex mil (the kids grandmother, no relation to him) is sleeping here the night too because I asked her to so she could babysit. Ex wasn't impressed and started going on about how he couldn't sleep on the sofa as he has a 'bad back' which imo is crap.

Anyway, the jist of it is that I am dreading the whole thing now as I cant face the thought of sleeping in the same bed as him. I have a touch of OCD and even when we were together I hated sleeping together and the thought of germs and sweat in my bed etc.

MIL is sleeping in sons bed, kids are sleeping together in youngest's bed so that just leaves me and ex.

He is insisting that he "cant" sleep on the sofa and I was half tempted to say I would sleep on the sofa to keep the peace but then why should I when its my bloody house??

Basically I cant get out of it now as he's on his way down...I reckon he might not have even come if I'd told him earlier he would have to sleep on the couch.

So my choices...do I a - just sleep in the same bed?
b) make him sleep on the sofa or c) me sleep on the sofa as it's me that has kinda made this mess in the first place?

Make him sleep on the sofa! Do you have a camp bed at all? Or a spare mattress to shove on the livingroom floor?

Definitely make him sleep on the sofa!

or you and the kids in your bed, MIL in kids bed and a kids mattress for ex in living room?

I definetly wouldnt go down the sleeping in the bed with him...sod him, make him sleep on the sofa, bad back or not.Don't let him dictate!

Either make him sleep on the sofa, or you sleep on the sofa. (maybe guauge bad back claim when you see him?)
But don't sleep in same bed.

Tell him he can have the sofa or the floor. His choice.

Youngest child in with you, oldest child on sofa, ex in child's bed?

See, I would sleep on the sofa just to give the situation a quick fix but I know I'll feel bitter about it if I'm on the sofa (when I'm actually ill myself at the moment) whilst he's snoring his stupid head off in my bed.

I would have though the OCD/germs issue is missing the point.. why would you be expected to sleep in the same bed as your ex? Surely he wouldn't expect it! And how the hell would you explain it to the xMIL??!

We often give up our best for guests... so if it was me, I would sleep on the sofa like a shot and avoid any issues that way. If you don't want him in your bed at all (even with different sheets) put xMIL in there, and him in one of the kid's beds.

Bed not best!

I couldn't have ex in sons bed, it's the germs and sweat etc...I'd feel like I was neglecting DS. Plus one of the kids beds is a high sleeper and whilst it would be ammusing telling MIL that she had to sleep "up there" I don't think we could pull it off lol

I know the 'make him sleep on sofa' is 'morally' tempting, but it isn't , imo, worth making such a big confrontation about that it becomes obvious that the real thing you want to avoid is him in your bed.
Nor do you want a big hoo hah on front of the kids and mil. I know it's 'your bloody house', but the whole point of the evening is for the kids to have a nice night out. If he feels so strongly about not sleepoing on the sofa that he would not have come if he had known, then you do have some responsibiliyt for not telling him ex-mil would be in the other bed, iyswim.

Pick your battles!

it's not the kids that are going out, it's just me and ex to a band we both like.

I suppose I'll just sleep on the sofa and avoid the issue...that way MIL won't kick off and the kids won't be confused.

Put MIL in your bed.. kids in the high sleeper, xH in the low sleeper. You on the sofa.

If you are giving your guests fresh sheets that you will wash afterwards, where's the issue? Sorry.. not trying to be insenstive re the OCD.. but the germs/sweat will go onto the bedding that you will whip off and wash!

I suppose...I couldn't even bring myself to sleep in DS's bed as it would have his sweat etc on it...that probably sounds awful.

Oh - sorry!

What an idiot I am...why would mil be babysitting if you were all going out!

Yeah - sleep on sofa - he MIGHT be shamed into saying 'don't worry - i'll sleep on sofa'.

See I think I would have given up my bed, if it was not for the fact that he tells you that he has to sleep in a bed because of a bad back.

I suffer from a bad back myself and it is only okay when I sleep in my own bed. It starts acting up whenever we stay in a hotel, a friends sofa, a friends bed anything.
If he truly has a bad back, the only good thing for him is to exercise and then sleep in his own bed (or on the floor).

sleep on the sofa - after all he bought the tickets for you didn't he, and is driving..so one night on the sofa won't kill you in return

I would sleep in the garden before share my bed!

He is you ex h, not a VIP. If he refuses the sofa then tell him to sleep in his car!

How did it go, MrsSnape?