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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband resents me for debt part 2

11 replies

wishes1111 · 08/02/2021 14:00

Hello

Just thought I'd give an update for those who wished me well and asked to know how everything goes.

My debt is now paid (by DH), income and expenditure is set up on excel for every month for the rest of 2021 ready to be added to each month.

No more nastiness from DH (as of yet), seems to be more caring, cooked me dinner at the weekend, helped out with cleaning on Sunday due to not working, suggested we start a new series together in the evenings on the sofa instead of spending it apart because of the bad atmosphere.

I am honestly shocked at his turnaround but I'm still wary. We have agreed who pays what based on earnings which means I can put £100 into a joint savings account each month towards any emergency unexpected costs or holiday fund and still have left over to treat myself to new clothes or new make up for example (not that I will do this every month, I don't need to, it just means that I feel less dehumanised).

DH has again acknowledged his bad behaviour towards me, he opened up about his grief and said he would like to make things right between us so we've contacted a marriage counsellor.

No TTC, coil is still being fitted in a couple of weeks but we will attend the specialist appointment for recurrent miscarriages as planned so we know where we stand for the future.

I can honestly say I have never felt better, a weight has been lifted off of me and I feel like I can sleep, breathe, do things without a ton on my shoulders for the first time in a very long time.

Sending lots of love to you all that showed me kindness, advice and a hand hold when I needed it most x

OP posts:
Sparklesocks · 08/02/2021 14:01

That’s a lovely update OP. I’m glad you’re feeling positive and excited about the future after so long 💕

LemonBreeland · 08/02/2021 14:19

I followed your previous thread and I'm so pleased you were able to be honest with your DH and that he has hopefully been able to see what he was doing to you with his attitude. Of course he had every right to be angry with you, as you did hide it from him in the beginning. I hope this is a fresh start for both of you.

123becauseicouldntthinkofone · 08/02/2021 14:27

Thats fantastic news, glad he has recognised his behaviour as you had already taken responsibility for your actions. fingers crossed new start and good luck x

Onebigdream · 08/02/2021 14:40

Reading your lovely update has given me hope. Thanks for sharing.

2020iscancelled · 08/02/2021 14:42

Great update OP, your relationship sounded solid underneath all the guilt, grief and fraught communication. I’m glad you have both worked together to find a path forward.

Wishing you all the best Flowers

combatbarbie · 08/02/2021 15:19

Long may it continue OP. I think this a good example if when communication breaks down in a relationship. It doesn't have to be all LTB....

Mia1415 · 08/02/2021 15:27

I'm so pleased to read this OP. Best of luck for the future.

MrsRockAndRoll · 08/02/2021 18:52

Great update

mcmooberry · 08/02/2021 21:29

Aw lovely update and great news.

billy1966 · 08/02/2021 21:37

So pleased for you and the strength you have displayed.

You are an extraordinary young woman who should be so proud of herself.

Remember that.

Continue to keep in your back pocket how strong you are, how much you have borne and how you will not accept being dragged down by anyone.

Please always keep working, don't ever give up your financial independence.

Wishing that you get every bit of the happiness you deserve.

Flowers
GeeBranzi · 07/03/2021 04:40

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