Most recent ex of 6 months ago - he dumped me, presumably before I found out he was cheating, I found out who the other woman was, it was a friend of a friend, he dumped her, took her back, dumped her again, and generally messed her about. I don't know the details but he comes across as quite shy, a bit moralistic and quite innocent and its all turned out to be lies.
Anyway, a few things he said have always troubled me and I wanted other peoples' opinions on them. Because at the time, I just sort of took them as a joke and overlooked them, but he's not a jokey sort of person.
- When we first went to sleep together in his new flat, he made a "joke" about there being cameras in his room recording us (there weren't - at least I bloody well hope not!). Seemed a very out of character remark for him at the time.
- When we decided to stop using condoms, as we had been together for a year and were exclusive, he made a joke about having just bought a jumbo sized box of condoms and how the supermarket assistant had looked at him when he bought it. And he went on and on about it, as if revelling in her reaction. But he presented himself to me as a very serious guy who was very faithful and didn't believe in casual sex
- He used to complain constantly about the woman (in her late fifties) who lived in the flat above him, although she never did anything wrong. She wasn't noisy, her small dog didn't bark, but he literally complained about her every time I visited because she walked across her own floors now and then and he could hear it. He made guesses about what she did for a living, said her father said she was a prostitute (she lived alone), in actual fact she was a landlady for working men Monday-Friday and very quiet and ordinary.
- He is a dance teacher, and when I asked him if he was ever tempted by women he met through dancing when I was away, he said they were all too old.
- He has no friends at all, he seems to just drop people and make no attempt to keep up with them. When I asked him about this, he just said "I don't make a good friend".
- When he dumped me previously (we had a short relationship and then 3 years later, got back together for a more serious one, I thought he had settled down because he had bought his own place) he started going on and on about how I should use Tinder to meet men because he was dumping me. I had never used Tinder and was quite firm in that I didn't want to use it either, but he kept ignoring me and my obvious distress at being dumped and being told by him to go on Tinder.
Any thoughts on any of these? Are these normal, off-the-cuff remarks or red flags that would bother other people?