To catch up with ex boyfriend or not?

[varbie89]

Ex-boyfriend and I were together for almost a year. He broke up with me the end of November 2020 and expressed that he wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do but it was the best decision he could do at the time. After the breakup, he still has expressed doubts. I stupidly kept in contact and we're still in contact to this day, although it is predominately been initiated by me. We have had the odd 1-hour phone call wich we never really did previously. However, I really want to change that. So I've deleted our texts and his number so technically, if he wants to chase after me, he has to plus it alleviates any temptation which I had been doing.

So I made a previous post. He got in contact with me again and said he would like to see me but still thinks it was the right decision to break up, it's almost like he's telling me this in case I think he wants to be back together. I asked him whether he's doing it to appease me and he said no. I asked him if he just wants to be friends and he said no. I said is it a friendly meet up and he said yes. I've told him that I cannot be just friends with him however and he understood.

I really wish I would have gone straight into no contact but anyway.

So, I've decided to pull back and if he wants to chase up seeing me, then so be it. But do you think it's a bad decision to see him?

Yup bad idea

Don’t meet him.

He probably wants a shag and is pre warning you that you won't get back together.

He probably wants a shag and is pre warning you that you won't get back together

This. It's a bad decision to hold out for him chasing you. He's not interested in a relationship with you. He's literally told you this. Listen to what he's said and don't delude yourself otherwise.

@Northernsoullover we did catch up one other time after the breakup and he was very much rejecting any sort of intimacy. I doubt this.

You don't want just friendship.
He doesn't want a relationship.

Stop torturing yourself and tell him to bugger off.

It didn't work out it probably is a bad decision unless you really think anything can be resolved?
As someone that's been on/off with a boyfriend, it doesn't work out no matter what, sometimes people are too different.

What an arsehole he sounds. No contact is good for you in the long run - you know this in your gut I think. You just have to go through the withdrawal and let go of the hope you still have. I bet he's no prize! If even just a friend told me they didn't want friendship they would be out of my life. There are many many people in the world and he needs to be out of your life. How dare he toy with your feelings in this way to stroke his own ego.

@moirarosebabay thank you!

He just wants a shag because he can't meet other women due to lockdown.

@category12

You don't want just friendship. He doesn't want a relationship.

Stop torturing yourself and tell him to bugger off.

This.

No good can come of this.

This reminds me of being 12 again.

Of course this is a disastrous idea to meet up with him. Why would you let this loser fuck you about like this? All he's hoping for is an easy shag. Block him and move on with your life.