Oh doing drugs infront of baby

[charlotte64]

Posted other day about oh saying I was a bad man and feel sorry for daughter having a a man like me
He arranged to have a drink today with his mates and wanted me out the house all day and bring baby back half 6 when it was bedtime
I told him he shouldn't be doing it COVID etc but wouldn't listen
I said all week do what he wants but no drugs when baby's there - all I said and if I find out he has I'd leave and take baby with me
She's 7 month old
I bath and put her to bed and can hear them all sniffing coke it in front room, I come down and go absolutely crazy take baby and leave and go to my mams
He's saying he's out of order but he didn't touch it - he cant have a drink without having any so know that's a lie
Whether he's had any or not he knew I didn't want it around her and I'd leave if I found out - so he's chose drugs over his daughter, he still wants to see her but can I refuse until we go to court and get supervised access as he can't be trusted? I'm so angry with him it's disgusting whether he's touched it or not he's allowed it into my baby's home knowing she was there
I can't believe him my daughter comes first over anything so there's no going back don't really know the point to this just need to rant can I not let him see her till it's official that needs to be supervised from now on

I remember your other thread. I am so happy to hear you have left.

DO NOT let him near your baby. He doesn't care about her (or you) He will just use the contact as an excuse to manipulate you and get you to return.

Tell him you'll see him in court if he wants access. I've done that will me ex husband and guess what? He's never bothered. Because he's basically a twat who doesn't love his children...just like your child's father.

Stay strong and keep your child away from him. He is a bad man and will have zero positive influence on her life.

Also please keep records of all his behaviour, save texts etc.

Thinking of you op and wishing you well

I always think people should never restrict a patent and child's relationship but in this case it is absolutely justified to withhold contact and insist on supervised access only.

Do not let him have the baby. Speak to a solicitor and see about getting a forced drug test ASAP. You need proof he’s on cocaine. Have you got any proof he did this and had friends round? No court is going to place a baby in that situation. Get proof. Photos, texts. See a solicitor ASAP.

Bless you and your daughter. I welled up reading this, it's awful. If becoming a parent doesn't change someone's behaviour, nothing will.
I wish you and your lovely daughter all the best x

You poor thing. I caught my ex having a joint in the garden when supposedly looking after our (admittedly sleeping) baby and locked him outside in the snow for an hour. Still took him back though because I was stupid back then. Youve done absolutely the right thing and need to stick with it and don't let him have any unsupervised contact. Keep a record of everything in case he takes you to court - he doesnt sound the type though to be honest. So sorry this has happened to you

@talesofnottinghill Nothing shows a person's true character than having a child does it?
I was utterly appalled by what having our twins revealed about my ex husband. I'd never have expected him to behave as he did in a million years.

How are you doing today @charlotte64?

Well done for leaving OP.

This guy is not suitable to be around a baby right now.

Please protect your child from him, stay with your mum and do not be tempted to go back.

He may well not be using drugs himself but he’s brought them into your house and put both you and your child at risk.

Honestly though this isn’t the only issue is it. He is abusive and controlling and just generally a horrible partner and dad.

So take this as a positive, it’s given you a reason to leave, a reason to restrict access for the time being and a good strong case for future custody and access arrangements when it goes to court.

Keep strong, keep putting your daughter first.

DO NOT GO BACK

OP, I'm glad you got yourself and your baby away from him.

ShinyGreenElephant I'd say locking someone outside in the snow for an hour is verging on domestic abuse, depending on the details, so I'd be careful of relaying that like advice.

Just try not to go back in a week's time when he's sorry and promises it will never happen again.

You must continue to protect your daughter as you are doing. He wont change- dont let him have access to her. He is no good to her. Move forward and dont look back

I went round this morning and grabbed some of
Mine and baby's stuff he said I'm over reacting to it all and blowing everything out of proportion he said he is seeing daughter - am I in my tights to refuse ??

You should have rung the police. Covid and get togethers and drugs. He would have been fined and you could have had him removed.

He took a class A, mind- and mood-altering drug while (at least partly) responsible for a young baby. What if the baby had needed emergency care in the middle of the night? Would he be able to handle it? Worse, what if he or his mates had left some lying around and the baby had ingested it the next day? You are absolutely within your rights; I've never read a more proportionate reaction on here.

Yes you are in your rights to refuse. He wouldn't be getting near my child unless he'd gone through court to do it.

The fact he's trying to say you are overreacting says it all. He sees you as the one in the wrong. This is a man who has and will have no qualms about letting his tiny daughter be exposed to drug taking and a potentially deadly virus.

He's a scumbag. Block him and tell him you'll see him in court. Except you probably won't because he'll never be arsed to apply to the courts.

Stay strong

@LancesGold

Yes you are in your rights to refuse. He wouldn't be getting near my child unless he'd gone through court to do it.

The fact he's trying to say you are overreacting says it all. He sees you as the one in the wrong. This is a man who has and will have no qualms about letting his tiny daughter be exposed to drug taking and a potentially deadly virus.

He's a scumbag. Block him and tell him you'll see him in court. Except you probably won't because he'll never be arsed to apply to the courts.

Stay strong

All of this.

He is using drugs in the home with your child, that's how little he cares about her.

Can't believe he told you to leave your home for the day so he could have cokehead mates over during lockdown. What a loser he is.

He's unlikely to actually go for access through courts if he's that irresponsible and immature.

Poor you, you're doing the right thing he is absolutely awful.

His next move will be to minimise, minimise, minimise. When that doesnt work he'll get cross. Then he'll promise to change. Anything to get you back, in short. Then things will carry on before only slightly worse because he knows you'll put up with it.

For the love of God, dont go back. You'll end up leaving him one day and it would be so much better for you and your dd if it was now.