Is this emotional abuse?

[ILoveCake12]

So whenever there's an argument in the house, which there are plenty of just now, usually between my DD (aged 18) and my DH, my DH will storm upstairs and will give us the silent treatment for hours on end and usually overnight. My DD and often I end up apologising and pleading with him to forgive us but he'll just continue to be silent. He's in bed now and I'm going to sleep downstairs because I just cannot stand to go up and received the silent treatment overnight and into tomorrow. I am sitting in tears again feeling like absolute crap. I am so fed up begging for forgiveness and I absolutely hate the way he makes me and my DD feel.

Yes it is, you should get counselling.

So, at 18, your daughter has to beg for her father’s forgiveness after he insults her????

His behaviour is not acceptable

OP - yes this is emotional abuse. I am sorry you have had to endure this behaviour. It really does rob you of your self esteem when you are placed in a position of pleading. You become the victim and unequal in the marriage.

Mummy202
My h does exactly as your exh did. We would have arguements with each of us in turn being in the wrong. He would ignore me for whole evenings and I would cry and try to resolve the issue. He also refused to eat whatever I had cooked that day which was was like a punch to my gut. I knew his behaviour was demeaning and unkind but convinced myself that I deserved it for causing an arguement. I am rather dramatic and often assumed our marriage was over, that he would tire of me and leave. My h avoids confrontation at all costs. I recall feeling ever so abandoned and at his mercy. He was in the driving seat so to speak because each time I had to 'wait' until he was ready to speak to me. I realised that I was far more invested in us than he was, I was willing to apologise even when I was not always at fault. I later learnt he had been unfaithful a number of times over the course of our marriage. There is nothing left to salvage.

If she’s in the wrong your DD should apologise. DH should then accept that apology. No one should be crying and begging for forgiveness. You are all adults and need to respect each other. If DD has been insulting or contemptuous she needs to understand how that is not acceptable - but the silent treatment must be challenged. I would tell him calmly that his response is not acceptable and then ignore him until he engages reasonably with you both.