How to be happy without a relationship

[mummyof2lou]

How did you learn to be happy without a relationship? I feel like I need romantic love to feel really happy, and make the hamster wheel of life feel worthwhile. Is wanting that connection human nature and pointless fighting, or can you truely be happy without one, and not feel like something is missing?

After 2 failed marriages I'm blissfully single. I think the reason I'm so happy now is because in both of my relationships I was doing most of the giving and there wasn't really much coming to me. Obviously there's not much coming to me now but at least I'm not resentful that I'm the one doing most of the work. It's a relief to be honest

I swing between being reasonably happy single and recognising how hard it is (single mum of two boys) and how much I miss romantic love in my life.

I guess what I want is the perfect partner. One who allows me complete independence but is also there when I need them and also totally loyal - probably a tall order

I think some people can be happy on their own long term, not for me, I'm recently single , I'm happy to be on my own for a bit until I've achieved some personal goals but when I look to my long term future I would like to find someone I can be happy and compatible with, for the time being I'm enjoying the peace and quiet and focusing on myself.

So I don't think you have to learn to be happy on your own, only when needed and to open to love when you feel ready to.

Single parent DC's 8 & 17.. been single for 9 years apart from a brief relationship a couple of years ago.. I'm happy single for the most part.. I'm not actively looking for a relationship anyway.. just seems like a complication I could do without! Definitely not sure I could live with a man again.
Basically if I could skip the dating part & go straight to a happy contented relationship with someone then that would be great!

@TheresGotToBeMoreToLife

I swing between being reasonably happy single and recognising how hard it is (single mum of two boys) and how much I miss romantic love in my life.

I guess what I want is the perfect partner. One who allows me complete independence but is also there when I need them and also totally loyal - probably a tall order

Yep. Me too. Exactly this!

Yep, it's either empty or complicated. I'd just love to get to the point where I don't feel like I need a relationship, but it would be a bonus to have one. I think that would be such a healthy place to be. Goals!

I’ve been single for 20 years. Hardly any friends and now middle aged and probably facing another 30 years or so on my own.
I don’t hate being on my own as I have a reasonably fulfilling job, but if I get made redundant or once I retire then I will have lost most of my identity.
I largely brought up my children alone and now they are grown I’m not so much mum but unpaid landlady really
For the first 5 years post my leaving my cheating (now ex)husband I had a few relationships but nothing worked out: I threw one out who started physically disciplining my children, one dumped me 2 months before our wedding, and another went back to his ex-wife. Kinda felt the universe was telling me something and as no one else has come along, I guess it is!
I’m not unhappy but I would like to meet someone who wants to be in my life as my partner: I’d like to grow old(er) with someone. It is hard not having been loved for such a long time, I won’t lie.
But having been in a pretty dreadful relationship, I’d rather my current life than the hollow sham that was my marriage.

I enjoy every moment I can - walking in the street, preparing nice snacks for myself, silence, time to sleep, making my own plans, not answering to anyone. You don't have hugs, or #blessed, or passionate tearing up the sheets sex. But you also do not have to contend with whining, belching, incompetence, piss on the bathroom floor, drudgery, mind-numbing remarks, pump-and-grunt sex, farting....