Need to leave but nowhere to go and no support.

[Keepyourdistance000]

In a nutshell I need to leave my marriage, but have nowhere to go, no friends, unsupportive family 3 hours away, no job, not enough money to pay a solicitor for a clean break divorce. I would never want to anything more to do with him.

I also have two cats who I am not leaving behind.

Where can I go? What can I do? So unhappy and broken after years of mental, verbal and emotional abuse, with one instance of physical. Intimidated, bullied, gaslit and criticised, hurt to my very core 💔

That sounds so tough. I’d suggest calling woman’s aid and seeking a refuge place. I’m sure there are also groups who will foster your cats if they can’t come in with you until you’re back on your feet again. Leaving is a brave thing to do, but it will be such a life changing thing.

Definitely call women’s aid.
There is help out there for you. Please leave as soon as it’s safe to do so.

It is possible your cats could go to a foster home for a while.
Once you reach out to women’s aid you might find the strength to reach out to local groups and charities who can get you practical help in your area.

You’re absolutely doing the right thing, it will be hard initially but you will be working towards a happy and healthy future

Also you really don’t need a solicitor for a divorce. Unless you have children? But it doesn’t sound like you do.

Don’t worry about divorces yet, just get away from the situation and in time you can get all that sorted.

Contact Women's Aid. There are solutions to everything you've posted and they can help you make a start.

Similarly Citizens Advice.

A woman’s refuge might be the first step for you op.

Have you ever worked, do you have any experience ?

Is the house yours or jointly owned.

@DinosaurDiana

Have you ever worked, do you have any experience ?

Yes, over 25 years of work experience.

@Bananalanacake

Is the house yours or jointly owned.

Jointly owned but he pays the mortgage from his bank account.

@2020iscancelled

Also you really don’t need a solicitor for a divorce. Unless you have children? But it doesn’t sound like you do.

Don’t worry about divorces yet, just get away from the situation and in time you can get all that sorted.

No children, which I guess makes things a bit easier.

I need a solicitor as he definitely won't make things easy, and I need someone to stick up for me.

I need a solicitor as he definitely won't make things easy, and I need someone to stick up for me

There are separate issues. The first is, can you get away from him? Yes you can - you have no kids, it really does make it easier. You have only yourself to provide for. As others say, contact women's aid for advice.

The second is, will you get a fair financial settlement? And the question there is, even if you don't, is it really worth continuing to live with him, just because you won't get a fair financial settlement? Again, women's aid should be able to provide you with some advice, some will have a solicitor who gives a free initial session.

I am so sorry things are so rough for you.
Long shot but could you look into a live-in job for some time, maybe a few months or a year, just to get away and start earning some money without paying rent? Your cats could be fostered for a little while, as others have said. This would give you a roof over your head away from him, money and time to plan your next move. I would do that and go to the other side of the country. Have a break and reinvent yourself. You sound so exhausted. Good luck 💕

@GalaKC thank you. I will work something out. I volunteer for a rescue so can probably get help that way for my cats, but would need to tell them what's been going on :(
Someone on another group has contacted me with the offer of accommodation some 7 hours drive away.
I don't feel so alone now anyway.