Finished with ex 7 months ago. We have two DC and were together 15 yrs. he was a lying cheating drunk who didn’t have the bottle to finish it so instead behaved atrociously in order that I do that not for him.
He agreed to sign over house to me (still 21 years left on mortgage) as he knew that the 5 yrs worth he had paid in would go to the kids. I returned to work full time and That went through ok last week. I did say I would pay him a lump sum so he could put towards a deposit for a house for himself and kids as we share their care. I said no more than 30k but I really cannot afford to do more than 20k. I had not really worked it out properly. He just keeps demanding his money....he keeps saying “you said it would be 30” etc failing to understand how difficult this will be for me. There is no legal agreement in place but I felt it was the right thing to do as he did slot of work on the property.
Miraculously I met an incredible man about three months after and we fell in love. I am 49 this year and know myself well enough to know that this is a good man and a beautiful thing that has happened. I told ex as I wanted to introduce to children at some point and did not want secrets. He flipped and announced he was still in love with me and would do everything he could to make up for his behaviour. I was not interested and so since he has realised that my new relationship is more than a fling he has become increasingly bitter and contrary to deal with. Will often badger me needlessly when he thinks I am with partner and now demanding money for new home but has not actually found anywhere yet.
My questions are 1) how to deal with difficult erratic ex partners who rewrite history? He says now he did not cheat but was only pursuing someone else as I had closed down. The end of the relationship is now both of our fault apparently going back on everything he said before.
I suspect he will also at some point start faltering or questioning child payments which I calculated roughly on half of childcare fees and some more to cover food etc. I could do it officially but he fiddles his self employment returns so it would be much less I expect. I suppose there is nothing I can do about that. So question 2) is pursuing child maintenance payments officially difficult? I currently pay £750 nursery costs so I do need half of that covered at least.