So I broke up with my narcissist ex nearly 2 years ago after he cheated on me (again), tried to lie about it and then tried to blame it all on me when he realised he were caught. This guy was a serial liar, who emotionally abused me. Towards the end he was going off the rails, pretty much had a mental break down insisting that we had a family because a child would make him happy. I would love a family but I knew I couldn't with him. The environment was unhealthy for me never mind a child. So I walked away. I assumed he would go out and knock some poor girl up to get his own way.
Over the past couple of years he has tried repeatedly to contact me and I've ignored him. I've had many personal health issues, had to come to terms with diagnosis of chronic uncurbable illnesses, dealt with redundancy, had to shield alone for the past 10 months with no outside contact, had numerous close family members diagnosed with a terminal illnesses that I was/ am unable to say goodbye to in person and most recently am having to wait for yet another referral for a biopsy due to a cancer scare. I needed some info that I knew he would be able to answer and I had exhausted all other resources so I contacted him.
I got a response right away and he even offered to come and help me. He started asking about my personal life and I ignored him. He even suggested we should meet up again and catch up which I turned down. He then randomly told me how he'd moved to the other side of the country, got a new job, new house and had a baby boy. After some digging off mutual friends it turns out he is still with the baby's mum (clearly people don't change because he's been trying to contact and meet up with me since they met!). Apparently it was a whirlwind relationship where she got pregnant around a month after meeting him (I'm not surprised). From what I can tell he's obviously got everything he wanted despite how he treated me (and obviously still treats women) and yet I've suffered. Its just been one thing after another. Nothing has gone right since I walked away. Dont get me wrong I dont want him back I just can't help but think how unfair this all is. How can someone who treats people so poor get everything they wanted. Yet I walk away from him for my health to then be inundated with constant bad luck.
I've been sat at home the past week wishing our roles were reversed and I was the one healthy with a family to call my own and a house and car and stable job. And that he suffered through what I have. Is it selfish to wish all that on another person even if you think they deserve it?