Sex after

[Sarapq2]

Me and partner haven't had sex in about 8 months , it's been due to stress of trying for a baby , work life etc got in the way.
He has had sex with another woman a while back , I hate the idea of it but it's happened.
But how do I get our sex life back on track , like many people I've gained weight in lock down so not body confident .
Before any one suggests a few glasses of wine etc I can't drink as I'm 2 years in recovery.

flirting not flooring, laminate is not my kink. 😆😆😆

@RealisticSketch

When me and dh want through a period of hight stress etc and our sex life suffered, it felt really weird to try to have sex again at first. Making the first move just felt...odd. we had a chat about it and worked out what was missing. We were still affectionate etc like you but we had stopped flirting and the affection was rather platonic, it has no cheeky edge iyswim. So, we got that going first, flirty things, hugs that suggested other things weren't out of mind... Then the rest followed and it stopped being weird. We've been together nearly 19 years and still fancy each other and are all good now.

There still a flirty edge to it still , it's not like we are just friends so I hope there is some hope. There is so much going on in the background.

That's hopeful then. I definitely think keeping communicating about the relationship, each others needs (all kinds) and doing whatever you can to make life less stressful/have some fun is important.

I'm trying to make life less stressful but I'm hating my job and it wasn't until I spoke to a girl I trained with this morning I realised it.

Sometimes circumstances can't be helped, I honestly don't think when life gets tough that a joyous healthy sex life happens. I think it's one of those things that only does well when everything else does. Which isn't too say that you don't have your moments, but regular great sex when your back is against the wall emotionally, I don't think so. Accepting that takes the pressure off and if both people want to be in the relationship and can be patient for things to improve...

Sorry to hear you are hating your job - that's not a nice situation. :(

Just wanted to give an update .

We had to work together yesterday , this is a rarity as we in different areas of work.

I was a bit hesitant but I took my work books etc with me and to be honest it was nice seeing what he actually does for a living !!

Anyway when we got home we made a little progress a fair bit of heated kissing but unfortunately his bloody sister called in middle of this and that stopped that .

He very affectionate since he got back and yes I'm aware of love bombing but trust me he done some awful things in past and had never been like this .

he done some awful things in past and had never been like this

Are you sure you're not flogging a dead horse here, OP? Just because you've been together a long time doesn't warrant wasting further time if he's not treated you well.

@yvanka

he done some awful things in past and had never been like this

Are you sure you're not flogging a dead horse here, OP? Just because you've been together a long time doesn't warrant wasting further time if he's not treated you well.

No I'm not I believe people can change for good and bad . His awful things have been alcohol related and to be honest I think most of us have done something stupid when drunk

As we been together so long I'm not prepared to give up.