How many people did you date before meeting the one?

[radiateforme]

And by 'the one' I mean the person you settled down with. I have had relationships in the past in my early 20s. I was pretty naive. Always settled for less. I have a son but have been single and working on myself for over 2 years now. Over the past few months I've been on dates with 5 different people. Mostly socially distanced but some when we were out of lockdown. Three weren't right for me so I stopped seeing them after a couple of dates, two I really liked but they told me I wasn't right for them. I'm 30 and lonely and want to meet someone who I click with. I feel like lockdown has just been shit and has influenced how far any of my relationships (if you'd call them that) have gone. I've not met anyone organically. Can't imagine I will for a while. Is it normal to go on loads of dates before you really click with someone? Starting to lose my confidence and am genuinely thinking about coming to terms with potentially it just being me and my son and no more children in the future.

I don't really believe in 'the one'. I think there are always going to be a number of people you could be happy with, but possibly in different ways. It's rare to find someone who is perfect in every way. I don't mean I think people should settle for partners who are clearly not right, but if your idea of the person you want to be with is too fixed, you might miss out on chances of happiness with people who may not 'tick all the boxes' but are right for you in many ways.

In answer to your question, I had two LTRs and probably at least 20 dates/short term relationships before I met the man I married, when I was in my early 30s. However, I wouldn't describe my husband as 'the one' in any absolute sense. Our marriage works because we have enough in common to live together reasonably happily, as well as our marriage having its romantic element.

I've no real experience at all but I do know that 5 dates is not many at all. I'm sure it is frustrating and disappointing but you really have to meet many more men to stand a chance of finding a life partner

Thank you (I did explain what I meant by 'the one' though). I guess when you have a child, dating takes up so much time and energy compared to when you don't. I am sick of online dating but have no idea how I will ever meet anyone else.

One long term boyfriend I had kids with, loads of dates and short term flings and a couple of boyfriends I dated between 1 to 3 years. Met my DH at 28.

met my DH online dating. I dated about 6 people and talked to a lot before I met him on there.

Hi I'm a 32 year old mother of two. I had three boyfriends from 16-23. All a waste of time. Immature. I always settled. Literally all of them were recommended to me through friends or just went along with whatever.

After the third realtionship went to pot I was ready to survive alone. But my friend gave me a number of a bloke she knew. He turned out to be the man I had children with. He's a lovely kind gentle calm man. For 7 years we were happy and solid and did all the family stuff. But we lost our spark. Stopped having sex. Stopped communicating. Stopped doing little things. To be honest he wasn't much of a romancer anyway. He was kind and would make me a cup of tea. But there was never anything really romantic like a bracelet (he hated jewellery) never randomly got me flowers (even a £1 bunch of daffodils would have been nice)

Six months ago I made eye contact with someone. It was instant I fancy that man. I want to know him. For the first time in my life I wanted someone for myself. I had to make the first move and add him on Facebook. He sent me the first message. Turned out we had both felt the same when we met. He's 46 so older. I have honestly never felt so into someone before. It's the whole package. I fancy him. I really enjoy sex because of how much I want him. He's quite masculine throughout. The most blokey bloke I've ever been with. I find that so attractive too. He can be stubborn or blunt and I even like that because he knows his mind and I love that about him. He is protective and romantic. He sent me a beautiful bottle of perfume recently. He adores me in ways that I've never felt adored. He also will help me see sense and he's like a best friend. Sometimes we talk about day to day life and stories for hours. We just connect and laugh and talk hours away. Sometimes we talk about serious things and I love how we can be so stupid but so serious too. He feels like a best friend, a lover, someone I can debate with, be passionate with. Someone who will carry me but sometimes he needs me to carry him. Just feels like the balance is amazing.

We actually said we've never experienced this before. He said he can't believe it took him until 46 to feel the things he feels now.

So I think I've found real love and connection at 32. I think my last boyfriend was love with no real connection and we sort of just settled.

I left a ten year relationship at 30. A year of dating, maybe saw about 6 guys? Then met my current dp it's been 3 years now.

A friend left a 4 yr relationship same time I did, same age as me. She's been on lots of dates, has had short relationships but nothing too serious. She wants a partner.

So it's different for everyone - so hard to compare between people and relationships. All I can say is that online dating can get a little draining so if you're not feeling it then give it a break for a while. Dating takes energy.

I went out with and slept with lots and lots and lots of people before i met DH, when i was 20.

I went on LOTS of dates, probably over 100. Made lots of new friends and had tons of fun.

Stopped going on dates for a while and met my DP.

I know of people who will go on a dates 4-7 nights a week looking for the one.

4-7 nights a week? 😳 Is that what it takes?! I'm doomed 😅

I know one person who goes on 4-5 dates a week (or did, in the past world) and all our mutual friends think she is nuts so don't worry about that.

I don't think I'd be able to remember their names if I went on 5 dates a week!

30 is too young to be thinking like that, I’m 50+ with a marriage behind me and a few years back met someone who I thought might have been the one, but turned out she was pretty vile

I’m pretty sure once lockdown is over there will a glut of lonely people looking for love & you will have no problems