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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Divorce Preparation/help

5 replies

HelpingMyEx · 06/02/2021 12:41

Ok so this is probably a weird request and a bit unconventional.

My Ex-wife and I divorced almost 7 years ago. It was an amicable divorce and we still talk (mostly for things dealing with out kids) to this day. I still care for her as a person and as the mother of my children.

She ended up getting married about a year or so back. She chose very poorly the second time around as he is extremely emotionally abusive to her and she now realizes how bad her situation is thanks to therapy. That being said she is wanting to get a divorce from her current husband. She asked me for advice and help as this guy is a very petty and vindictive sort and she believes he will try to take her for everything he can.

As our divorce was a mutually agreed upon thing and we worked everything out ourselves, neither of us has any idea of how to handle a contested divorce.

She's afraid that he'll take everything she's worked hard for and leave her without enough means and assets to support herself. So my question is what advice can you give to help her protect her assets.

Mind you she is NOT rich by any means, so we're not talking rich person level of protection kinda stuff. All she really cares about is keeping her house, her car (and a 2nd one but I'll get into that), and 50% of her savings (about 10k).

Some additional info. Her House is technically still in my name and my name is on the mortgage. It was listed in our divorce agreement that the house, all the payments for it, the legal responsibility for it, etc are hers and that I can in no way be held liable for it. She was supposed to get a mortgage of her own and "purchase" it from me "within a reasonable time" (as stated in our divorce agreement). However she hasn't had a large enough income to get a mortgage for the value of the home. So I haven't pushed the issue.

Additionally, the 2nd car is also in my name and I'm the only one on the title. It is paid off, but due to my work schedule (I travel for work a lot) we just haven't been able to coordinate a time for us to get the paperwork filed to exchange the title. But again, by the divorce agreement that 2nd car is hers in all legal ways.

Hopefully the additional info helps as well to provide sufficient info for ya'll to be able to give some advice.

I'm more than willing to answer any additional questions about the situation as well, so if there's more info needed don't hesitate to ask me.

OP posts:
takeanotherchillpill · 06/02/2021 13:42

Your ex wife should see a lawyer.

HelpingMyEx · 06/02/2021 14:37

@takeanotherchillpill that is something that is being set up as well. However I came on here to also get advice from others who have been through contested divorces before.

Legal advice is of course important and something that is being pursued, but not every case is going to be identical, and people who have been through something before and experienced pitfalls of their own can have just as valid advice.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 06/02/2021 15:06

How long did they live together prior to getting married and does she live in England. Do they have any children together, does he have any children that live with them?

The house deeds and car being in your name does imply they aren't their marital assets.

HelpingMyEx · 06/02/2021 15:35

@RandomMess They lived together for around 6 months (give or take a month) prior to the marriage. They live in the US.

She and I have children together. My daughter is grown up and out on her own, but my son lives with them part time, basically any time I have to be out of town (or the country) for work.

They don't have any children together. Her husband does have a daughter from a previous relationship that lives with them for about a weeks total time every month.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 06/02/2021 17:06

Most posters are UK based the laws in US are very different to here.

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