Early stage cervical cancer

[shas19]

Not sure if I've posted this in the correct area. After a year back and forward I've just been diagnosed with stage 1a1 cervical cancer. I'm 25 next month with 2 children and a dp. My sex drive has been low for a little while, nothing terrible, we still have sex about 3 times a week but now, everytime I think about sex I feel sick. All I think of is I've got cancer and I feel disgusting. I dont want this to effect our relationship. I'm just rabbling on but it's only been a few days and I'm finding myself just randomly crying, getting angry at the smallest things. I dont want my cancer to ruin our relationship. I dont want people to look at my and feel pity. I dont speak to my mum so dot have that support but have a good relationship with mil, sil and friends but I still feel like im alone. I cant even say it out loud yet, even writing it sounds weird.

I'm so sorry your going through this. It is perfectly normal to be going through various emotions especially in the early stages. Have you spoke to your partner about how you feel? Is he expecting sex still?

I had abit of a meltdown the other day and ordered a will pack, he said to be I was being silly and I'll be fine but it made me so angry. Hes not the best with emotions etc but hes trying. Hes not still expecting sex but we do have a decent sex life and I dont want it to be ruined, he wont push me if I say no though.

Cervical cancer, especially when caught early, is one of the easiest to treat and to completely cure. There are never any guarantees in life, but this is almost as good as it gets - the chances of totally eliminating this cancer are extremely high, and the odds in favour of a long and totally normal life are really great! Finding such cancers at an extremely early stage is also very common now - you'd be surprised how many people have been diagnosed and treated. Cancer still carries fears and stigmas, so many people feel like you do. But times are changing. Mcmillan run some excellent advice lines, and their website is full of useful stuff. Again, people tend to think of them in radiation to their image of helping the terminally ill, but they are really knowledgable and helpful for anyone with a diagnosis. Many hospitals now run support groups too, or can put you in touch with some.

It's actually normal and understandable that you feel scared and angry. But saying it out loud, telling people you can talk to, does help. As does realising that this is not the scary thing it used to be, and the odds are on your side here.

I just want to give you a hug xxx

You're young, you want to be sexy and have fun. I get it.

But this is a sidewinder into your life 3not a very nice one either.

My advice....
Handle yourself well. Get some support thro this early stage. It's ok to be shocked, disgusted and angry.
But check also the post above, where they say this is not a death sentence and is a hump you'll get over and life will go on.
Look after your body from now on. Quietly clock on to what you do and how you live and make changes where needed. This is a big shock.
Re your sex life, I'd take a break for a bit probably, but keep intimacy alive thro talking to him, cuddling, crying and sharing with him. Let him look after you. If he wanted an orgasm, either share it with him or encourage him to play if he wants to. Meanwhile you have your treatment, follow the recovery advice and eventually get back in the saddle.
And focus on that post above, where this is a blip in life, a big one yes, but a blip nonetheless and you can learn not to let it take over.

X

When your body lets you down, I think it's normal to feel unsexy or even revolted by sex. I had the same when I couldn't conceive, which made TTC even harder and I felt awful that I didn't want to do what I needed to do.