I love you ... you know that yeah ?

[poklds]

My Dh of a year has said that recently a few times... I say yes why ? And he says just checking

I'm insecure and those words phrased like that makes me wonder what he means ?

If its new behaviour that would worry me.

Any other recent changes?

@EvenMoreFuriousVexation
Not that I can think of . He's very stressed at moment due to work and Covid etc and has been quite quiet but no new phone behaviour or anything that I can tell

Sounds more like his insecurity than yours. I say this to my DH sometimes when I'm worrying about if he knows how I feel about him. Nothing suspicious - just my own anxiety!

It would make me think he was doing it planned to do something that would make it look like he didn't.
However, on a more positive slant it may be that he particularly appreciates you lately and fes he may not have shown it enough.
Ask him.

Sorry typos, he was doing or planned to do...

@5128gap that's what I was thinking but wasn't sure if I was just being paranoid

I think I would be worried but at a different angle of worrying about his mental health, any indicators there either?

@cricketmum84

Hopefully it is just that .

It could well be that he's been stressed and quiet so is reassuring you that it's not because of you. I wouldn't read too much into this at all. I've said it to my DP a few times recently as I've been a little short with him and preoccupied (due to the shite that is Covid).

@Eruss yea he's very stressed at the moment . Not coping well at all to be honest

Maybe have a talk to him about whether he’s ok and coping. Find out if he needs someone to talk to. Sometimes I say “you know I love you, don’t you?” to my DH when I’m feeling down or worried and want him to know I care.

Agree with PP, it's his own insecurity and him not feeling well.

Could be a few things...

Just because I'm having an affair, it doesn't mean I don't love you & I want you to remember that when
You find out/when I leave.

Or

I'm stressed/worried/scared & I need you to know if anything happens to me, I love you

Or (usually what I mean) I know you're feeling shit about xyz but you know that whatever you're going through I'm right
There with you because I love you & I'm not just saying it, in parrot fashion. I'm very serious. I LOVE YOU.

You know him, what do you think?

I really don't think it's affair... but having been on here a while I know I'd be last to know .
But like I said I'm insecure anyway so probably overthinking that possibility when there is no real justification for thinking that

What on earth?! How have people decided he's having an affair from this
Honestly Mumsnet will make you think he's an abusive cheater

[quote poklds]@Eruss yea he's very stressed at the moment . Not coping well at all to be honest [/quote]
My husband says this to me when he's going through high stress. I think its like "i don't have capacity to give you my time/energy right now so i just want to remind you that i still love you"

Sounds like he's worried you're not interested any more and he's trying to reel you back, perhaps he feels you're not paying him as much attention or he could think you've had a wandering eye...related to self esteem and insecurity probably but just think over your behaviour to see if he could have misinterpreted something. Maybe he overheard a phone call and thought you sounded a bit too friendly with another man, or could he have seen a text snippet flash up on your phone screen and got the wrong end of the stick out of context etc?

@DayBath
This makes more sense actually. I have dialled back on things recently because I thought I'd give him space as I didn't want to bother him all the time at the moment because of everything he's going through . So I've left him to watch telly on his own, I've told him to go for walks on is own to clear his head etc
Thankyou for this insight

Sounds like it could just be that then. Perhaps when you leave him to chill on his own you could make it clear that you're doing it to help his mental health and that if he prefers company he can join you whenever he likes. He could just be a little worried that you're not as close as usual, I often say similar things to my husband when we drift apart because of the kids always getting in the damn way!! I just want to sort of double check that we're still cool.

I may be daft for not for minute would I have thought about any affair or anything dodgy, if you've been giving him some space and he's been doing things alone a bit more recently he might actually think your feelings have changed and he wants to reassure you that he loves you 🤷‍♀️.

I do this when I'm feeling stressed and disconnected from DH. I also ask him if he loves me.

He probably needs a hug and some help to unwind.

I say it sometimes. I suppose perhaps I intend it as reassurance "don't forget how much I love you" kind of thing - there's no hanging "but" intended afterwards!