I feel really sad about what my DP did

[swallowinthesky]

We have a 7 week old baby. Sleep is obviously a challenge and I am honestly very mindful of the fact OH has a full days work and I try to do the lions share.

On Wednesday night OH couldn’t sleep. I took baby to his crib at about 9 and got him to sleep, and I fell asleep next to him. OH then fell asleep on the sofa. I was woken at 2 by fussing baby and OH offered to feed him while I expressed milk, I accepted gratefully. This was repeated at 5. OH then slept a bit during the day (he wfh.)

Had difficult day with baby, wouldn’t sleep. Tried walks but the weather was awful, went for a drive but baby still awake. I was trying to stop myself getting irritable but honestly it was one of those days where I couldn’t even go to the toilet. OH finished work and went straight to bed.

I am really sad. I felt like I wasn’t even worth talking to. The stupid thing is if he’d said I’m really shattered, do you mind if I get two hours and then I’ll take baby I’d be fine with that.

I’m now lying awake when the baby is actually asleep upset about it. Cliche but I hadn’t actually spoken to another adult all day until he finished work and it’s such a relief just to have another person there when the baby just won’t stop crying.

Don't be sad, communicate with your husband instead.

Have your thread here for support but talk to him and don't let this fester.

I had three children under two, my first 2 were just 10 months apart and we survived those early days by communicating with each other.

Try and get some sleep now while baby is asleep.

And congratulations op

I know how you feel. Some days I count down the minutes until DH gets home from work. My sympathies x

Totally agree. I completely get why you feel sad and disappointed but this can be fixed. Definitely speak to your OH- let him know how lonely it can be flying solo with a baby all day and that you need to reconnect a little bit at the end of his working day.

I’m assuming he generally pulls his weight and you have a reasonable balance? If so try to avoid making it into a competitive tiredness conversation. That way madness lies. Ask for a cuddle and remind each other that you’re a team and need to check in on each other.

It’s such a tough time- you’re still in the trenches at 7 weeks. Go and snuggle up with your partner and get some sleep

My baby is 14 months old but I remember those days well. Very tough. I take it you are breastfeeding from your post. I found I had to do the majority of the nights due to this also. I had a next to me crib so could just feed baby without getting up. It’s a god send. It also meant I could feed baby to sleep and just slide baby over once asleep. Now in terms of what you actually said in your post . I’m not sure about your DH but mine looks to me for direction in terms of baby’s needs. I was starting to resent the fact I was doing all night wakings but then I started to nudge my husband and saying your turn. It gave me a much needed break. I think you shouldn’t wait for him to offer. Tell him you need a break and he needs to take over. In an ideal world they would just know but usually not the case. Also the first few months are tough but things will get easier. Your baby will sleep. I found after 4 months things were a lot easier.

I think you are probably right bonster, he did this last week as well and left me all evening while he had a teams virtual drink. I should have said excuse me I am here but I didn’t, I just sat getting increasingly hungry and annoyed!