I am struggling how to approach the issue of my partner’s weight, diet and sedentary lifestyle with her. She lost her father in 2019 which has been very hard for her as they were very close. She is also working as a student nurse so has been working sporadically in the hospital helping on the covid wards so she does have a lot on her mind. She has been putting on weight steadily for the last 2 years; she is 5”2 and 168lbs which classes her as obese although she doesn’t accept this. We recently tried to change our diet and exercise level in January to try and get healthy, despite sticking to it myself and managing to lose 11lbs in 4 weeks, she gave up as she wasn’t seeing instant results, although I believe she really wasn’t putting in any effort or making any real changes in regards to her eating habits or level of activity. She spends 90% of her free time in bed eating and watching Netflix. I do roughly 95% of the housework, cooking and walking of the dog. Most of the time I ask her to help she says she’s either too tired or can’t be bothered. She has also been spending large amounts of money and despite clearing her previous debts with her father’s inheritance; she managed to accrue £6,000 worth of credit card debt, which I paid for her. I also gave her £8,500 to help her buy a new car which I know will takes years to see any of it back. I love her with all my heart but I can honestly say that I’m finding myself less attracted to her physically and emotionally. Given her mother passed away in 2016 due to complications with her diabetes, at least partially due to her bad diet and sedentary lifestyle, I am terrified that my partner will go down the same path and that her long term health will suffer. I tend to worry a lot anyway and I use alcohol and cigarettes to try and self-medicate, but I would give these up today if I genuinely thought she would change but I know in my heart that she won’t. I don’t know what to do as I don’t think I can live like this for the rest of my life.