Asked DH if he loved me and he said he didn't know. Where do I go from that?

[FranklyDeer]

I'm still digesting the answer and I don't know what to do next really.
That was two days ago and he's acting like normal (our normal), as if it doesn't mean anything or should have any effect.
If it was any other time I would take myself off somewhere as I feel I want to cry constantly. He wont say anymore and being together 24/7 is really stressful now.
Should I revisit the question even though he's resistant?

Sorry OP. Thats a real bombshell and not fair on you at all. Does he want to work on your relationship? Or has he basically checked out and is just there for convenience? You deserve better than this.

Saying he was tired is a cop out. It’s avoidance. I’d agree to wait until after lockdown because making any changes right now is incredibly hard but I’d suggest you maybe talk to a counsellor for you to decide what you want to do

Op. I think excusing his response due to lockdown is rubbish.

I do agree with others as not acting like a loving wife. No cooking, no cleaning, no sorting making his life run smoothly, no ironing and no SEX.

Move to another bedroom, be straight and tell him that this has affected your confidence and you no longer feel sexually loved and attractive.
Tell him his excuse is rediculous, nobody is too tired to tell someone they love you.
How did he expect you to react to this heart snub.

This won't go away by ignoring it, you deserve answers.

@Onthedunes

Op. I think excusing his response due to lockdown is rubbish.

I do agree with others as not acting like a loving wife. No cooking, no cleaning, no sorting making his life run smoothly, no ironing and no SEX.

Move to another bedroom, be straight and tell him that this has affected your confidence and you no longer feel sexually loved and attractive.
Tell him his excuse is rediculous, nobody is too tired to tell someone they love you.
How did he expect you to react to this heart snub.

This won't go away by ignoring it, you deserve answers.

Definitely this.

It does suit him to act on his plans right now.

He is NOT to be trusted.

He cannot take this back, just because he spoke honestly but wishes he hadn't.

Take this as a gift.
A heads up as to where his mind is.
It's NOT on you.

Protect yourself.

If he knew he loved you, he wouldn't doubt it. He said he doesn't know because he can't bring himself to tell you he doesn't. Sorry OP.

@FranklyDeer

I didn't realise that I'd lost a post somehow. In answer to a few of the questions he has gone from thinking he loves me, to not knowing, in the space of six months. There has been a recent discussion because I couldn't take the status quo of behaving as normal after that minor bombshell. OH now says that he was tired when I asked and shouldn't have said it. Were now in a weird back to usual lifestyle.In the back of my mind I'll always remember that he said this...doesn't matter how hard I try to forget.

Maybe I should wait and see what happens after lockdown...life will change in one way or another.

I don't know, I may be alone in thinking this. But I think most people go through stages of not feeling in love in long-term relationships. This is a really hard time and maybe he just isn't feeling the connection at the moment. It's real. He's being honest.

I wouldn't push it. He wants to stay together so just work on reconnecting rather than pushing this into divorce territory.

You mention communication is lacking, maybe that's a good starting point. There's lots of resources online or counselling.

What's the rest of your life like though? Do you do things together? Do you still have sex?

OP start to make plans. Your DH knew what he said and i feel he is being truthful.

In your head start to separate from him so when the inevitable happens it wont be such a bolt out of the blue.

Get a single account and separate your finances, make new friends and start new hobbies (covid allowing of course).

I am sorry you are going through this OP but you need to protect yourself and prepare for things to get worse.