I need some help and advice. Healing and kids?

[Slowlygoingcrazy88]

So after a long relationship with my ex and him moving on but still leading me on and sleeping with me we are now at NC. My eldest has my old phone which she uses to call or message him on but we have had no contact (only for two days but it's the longest we have ever gone without talking to each other)

I am trying so hard to be strong but its so hard when I put so much into this relationship and it basically meant nothing. Are there any books/videos that you would recommend for me to try?

Also my eldest was initially 'coping/adjusting' OK my younger wasn't but school have been supportive with her she cries a lot for daddy. My eldest has lost her appetite is crying so much more because she misses her dad and I just don't know what to do. I don't get upset around them put on a brave face and try to reassure them but I feel like it's not helping. My eldest is shy and usually I have to really force her to open up to me and even then she won't really talk. I'm going to ask the school about some counselling for her as I don't want her to bottle her feelings up but I just feel I'm failing her by not knowing what to do 😥

The two are separate issues?

When you say NC - what does that mean in terms of parenting. Are the kids now NC as well, what's the reasons for that? If they are his kids, does some custody need arranging? You need to continue to put a brave face - its fine to acknowledge their sadness, but it sounds like there needs to be a plan in place for custody. And if he doesn't want to, then I would try to access counselling for both of them.

In terms of relationship ending, I don't have specific books, but just give yourself time to heal. Also remind yourself when you feel weak about why it ended, why it was toxic.

You being no contact with the kids is fine, if a bit odd as you do need to communicate to be able to co-parent together. But why are the children not seeing him?

No contact with the kids dad*