Co sleeping

[Rainydayss]

My DD is 10 and still sleeps in my bed. She gets anxious about being in her own bed without an adult. She slept well in her own bed when little but then would often come into my bed early hours of morning - but at least she started off in her own bed. Bought her new bed, decorated etc but novelty wore off after a week.

Any ideas how to tackle this?
I'm barely sleeping as she wriggles all night, I have been single for a couple of years (DH also worked away when we were together) so it's always just been me. However at some point I want my DP to stay over and eventually move in if all is well.

Can you fit her single bed in your room ?

Does she stay over at her dad’s, if so what happens there ?

No room for a single bed.
When she's as her dad's she sleeps in her bed,( it's a double) but he stays with her until she falls asleep. Not sure if he stays there or goes into his own bed. He has a partner so I'm sure he will want his privacy too.

She wants sleepovers (when we're allowed) but it's pointless if she sleeps with me. She also doesn't sleep anywhere else (friends or grandparents) unless me or exDH is with her.

I think you need to ask your ex what happens there, as if she sleeps all night on her own there, you know she can do it.
I think you need to look at reward charts, make sure she plays in her room in the day so she is used to it, and start talking about going to high school and how she’ll need to be in her own room then. Does she have a desk for home work ?
I slept with my mum until early teens and it was me wanting to be in my own room that made it happen. I was lucky in that my single bed fit in her room too, so I got used to sleeping alone. Then when I even went in my own room I had the door wide open and the landing light on. As I got used to it the door got pushed further and further over, and eventually I didn’t need the light on.
You need to start dropping in the conversation about her going in her own room now that she’s growing up and then make plans, but try and involve her. Lots of positivity. Then when it finally happens you are going to have some disrupted nights, but just keep going to the goal of getting your bed back. Good luck/