Getting through tough breakup

[Student133]

So my girlfriend of 7 months who i care about very much ended it this evening. Rather complicated but she had lots issues before we got together, so she decided that she had to end things for her sake. Thing is I'm really struggling accepting it, she's the first person I've actually cared about, and she's still going to be miserable, just now on her own . Could those with some worldly wisdom come and enlighten me.

My feeling is that when a woman ends things, she's usually given it a great deal of thought. I liked my last partner but I knew he was not right for me. It was hard to walk away, knowing I would be lonely. But I did it because I know it was the right thing to do.

I'm sorry that you're going through a tough time. But trust that she made the right decision. You wouldn't have wanted her to stay with you, feeling it wasnt right. And if she came back now you would always be wondering if she would leave again.

Let her go with compassion.
And have compassion for yourself too.
Some things just arent meant to be.

I know its a tough one. Thing is shes had lots of mental health issues and a crappy ex who really did her over. The main reason she's ending it isn't because she doesn't want to be with me, its because of all the baggage, for want of a better word, shes still working through. She thinks that by ending things it'll make her feel less bad generally, I'm just worried shes going to feel as bad as she always does (mental health) and shes going to be on her own in a small flat for whi knows how long, and she'll just get even worse.

That's the reason she is giving you for ending things. I'm going to be harsh but tbh op people don't tend to throw away their support if its solid support. And right for them.

Ok it might be that she feels this is just something she has to work through on her own. But chances are...she just isn't feeling it with you anymore. And is using the issues as an excuse. It's common for us to not want to offend the male ego or to cause any more hurt feelings than we have to during break ups.

Either way though, difficult or not for you, you really dont have a say. If she says it's over then it's over.

If you are worried about her then you could offer her your friendship. If you feel you can accept that that's all it is and that it is not with a view to getting back together. But dont put your own mental health at risk or feel bad if you need to cut contact completely.

With all due respect, it was only 7 months. She made it the rest of her life prior without you. As did you without her. She wants to br strong. It sounds like you see her as fragile. Maybe she doesnt need that right now. Maybe she needs to believe in herself. Some battles are personal.

Hard as it is, she has told you where things stand, respect her decision.

Hmm yeah don't think I'm actually getting through the intricacies of what's going on here, obviously I've described it in the wrong way so I'll look elsewhere for input. Thanks for the contribution though.

You're swimming against the tide with someone who has mental health issues. You sound young, don't get bogged down with other people's baggage.

Respect her decision and leave her alone. That's all you have to do.