Please talk me down

[Ostryga]

I got out of a horrific psychologically abusive relationship last October. It was so bad I attempted suicide when he left me, I was that reliant and brainwashed. It was truly, truly awful.

I’ve spent every single day since then working on myself, and I have really got to a very good place. I’m happy, working hard, having therapy, bubbled up with my best friend I wasn’t allowed to see. Reconnecting with my family (via FaceTime).

On my way home from work tonight I bumped into ex and his new girlfriend (I assume) going into her house. I saw his car drive past, and I felt instant panic and fear. As I was walking he parked up, and they both got out and went inside. I don’t care that he has a new girlfriend, anything to keep his attention away from me. But she lives on my fucking road. He’s literally 10 seconds away from me. It’s making me feel sick and ridiculous.

Best friend is at work so can’t get her to come over. I just feel stuck in the house, like he’s so close and I can’t relax.

You have done the hard work, leaving him, working on yourself, you are doing amazing. And it's great he has a girlfriend means you can absolutely kick him in the long grass. You will meet someone who is absolutely worth your time and will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. And you have an exciting journey ahead finding that person. And in the mean time watch a good boxset, make some cookies have a really indulgent bath and think about all the exciting things that are coming up in the future and opportunities x you have got this

Op thats awful im sorry youre going through this. Bumping into an ex is never nice but especially after you've been through so much. Please just think about how far you've come and how happy you are and put behind you the utter misery he caused which almost lost you your life. Please don't go back to that place you sound so positive and truly inspirational good on you!

How are you op?

Lock your doors and windows, whatever makes you feel safe. Keep talking either on here or to your friend if you can get hold of her. Please don't panic, you've done really well to get where you are now, don't let him take that away from you. Can you watch a movie or read a book, anything that can take your mind off it and give you some escape from real life for a bit?

The distance you have created between you and him is emotional. It doesn't have to be physical. Think about the wall of emotional strength you've built between the two of you since you broke up. That's yours. He could be stood right in front of you, and it will still be there.

Plan what you will say if you bump into him. Crossing over to the other side of the road is best, but if he spoke to you, you could simply say 'I'm not interested in talking to you', and keep walking.

That's all you have to do. Remind yourself of your new, self protective boundaries, and how you will enforce them. It will reinforce them, and reinforce you.

Are you doing ok now op?