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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

weekend away?

3 replies

darnokandjalad · 02/02/2021 17:41

Backstory - 2DC, youngest 17, been together long time. We split childcare/housework down the middle 50/50. Both went part time so both went through the same hit on career when DC were little. Financially well off, mortgage gone, both back to full time and earning well with little difference (under 5k) in wages. No hint of affairs etc. All this is important because of this anomaly!

I am desperate for a weekend away with my friends. I haven't had one for a decade at least and never one that didn't have some sort of occasion attached. I have mentioned booking a weekend for end of the year for me and a couple of friends to go away, have some drinks, indulge in our hobby etc. Now I have had nights out, days out throughout marriage but this is a sticking point! I have facilitated my DH going overseas with his mates in the past, yet I am getting odd comments around what are they supposed to do for the weekend and why aren't I invested as much time and enthusiasm in s weekend away with them.

All I want is a weekend away! Doesn't mean I don't love them anymore, I just want time with friends.i really like time alone and just wish I could have more of it. Not even voiced yet that if we can get DC through uni, I may, may just have enough saved to buy a little flat that I can stay in a day or two a week.

Sorry just needed to vent a bit!

OP posts:
Feelingchicken99 · 02/02/2021 17:45

Stick your ground on this one, I have 2 long weekends with my friends each covid free year, it’s my me time and makes life bearable,

category12 · 02/02/2021 17:49

Just point out he goes away with mates sometimes, do those occasions mean he doesn't enjoy being with you?

But largely, I'd just ignore and carry on regardless.

It is unusual that you're hoping to buy a flat to hide out in, tho. Do you feel smothered at home?

mindutopia · 02/02/2021 17:58

Do you have your own money? Can you not just book a weekend away? Dh and I have little dc (primary and preschool age), so obviously I have to clear weekends away with him so I make sure he is actually at home. But your youngest is 17. Do you have money for yourself? I would just book it. I certainly wouldn't discuss with dh how much money my weekend away is going to be (I usually go on several a year). It's my choice to spend my money how I please. If it's about your enthusiasm, surely no adult child and 17 year old has much enthusiasm for a family holiday. They want to just be with their friends! I would book it and never look back. Like I said, I never clear weekend away plans with dh other than to check the dates to make sure we don't just end up leaving our small children unattended for the weekend. I'm sure your dh will figure out how to entertain himself.

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